All of the obvious (and unhappy-making) candidates have sworn to John Koblin that they are not going to be the new New York Times restaurant critic. There should be an announcement later this week. (Meanwhile, the bloggy-foodies are so over it, like one Josh Ozersky: "'The Times critic can't go on TV!' he said. 'What would you do with that power? You can't go to the restaurants you like, you can't shmooze with the chefs and writers you like. You can't go on Top Chef!'" Haha, hilarious, what is wrong with you Josh Ozersky?!) And then, oh, I just figured it out! I think I know who the new food critic of the Times is! If I am right, and sometimes I am wrong, this is going to be awesome. If I'm right: yes, the hire is coming from inside the house, and not from the food section. And definitely they have discussed and decided that there's no way the hire can remain anonymous in this day and age, and so what.
Correction From The Future: Ms. Stanley's latest review misidentified a number of the dishes she. The double poisson efume turned out to be a pair of hot dogs. The price of two hot dogs is not $34.95 but $5.00 or so. It did not come with a ragout of root vegetables but onions and relish. The suggested montrachet was a papaya shake. The appetizer combo was, in fact, a bag of Combos peanut-butter filled pretzel snacks from the bodega. Finally, due to an editing error, the name of the restaurant appeared as "Jamba Jews" when it is, in fact, "Jamba Juice." Although it turns out that she didn't go there, either, but to the Gray's Papaya across the street and up a little bit. The Times regrets the errors.
dishes she ate. Jesus.
HA. That would be hilarious.
I was just thinking, why not Clark Hoyt? He eats what he kills.
"The chef limned the depths of the chicken's hard existence on the free range, making its flesh bittersweet in the end, yet somehow more satisfying." - M.K.
Goddamnit, you beat me to it.
"The chicken is undoubtedly the central issue here. Covered in a curry reduction, stripped bare, and laid at the center of the plate, it's constructed to be the subject of the diner's intense gaze. It's little more, at the end of the day, than a piece of meat." - Manohla Dargis, Restaurant critic.
"The high energy biscuits will keep you sated as you wait at the bar, which gets Goma-like crowded if you arrive after 8pm..." N.K.
"The elegant yet too passive lobster tail ceded too much space to the red meat on the right, thereby letting it define this surf and turf." - D.B.