Friday, August 14th, 2009

The Great Fat Freakout

OKAYI have been sitting on my stoop in the East Village this morning like an old Polish woman and I have counted exactly zero guys with pot bellies, even though this is the hot new trend, according to the elitist New York Times. Here is the thing: Manhattan is an incredibly trim place, on the most part. Last night I was walking by Gramercy Park and I was behind a large group of people who were clearly from out of town, and I could tell only because of two things: they were wearing amazingly cheap clothing and they were, well, a large group of people! That is a fine choice for them! I am not here to judge. For one thing, the food in America is terrible, horrible, disgusting "food" and really there is nothing for them to eat that is healthy. The problem is that we are kind of not allowed to even mention it. And so writer Cintra Wilson, who is well-known as a TOTALLY CRAZY person, is in big trouble now.

This week she wrote in the Times about JC Penney coming to Manhattan.

AND herein lies the genius of J. C. Penney: It has made a point of providing clothing for people of all sizes (a strategy, company officials have said, to snatch business from nearby Macy's). To this end, it has the most obese mannequins I have ever seen. They probably need special insulin-based epoxy injections just to make their limbs stay on. It's like a headless wax museum devoted entirely to the cast of "Roseanne."

Hey now: both New and Old Beckies were STICK FIGURES. This is somewhat nicer?

No matter how many Grand Slam breakfasts you've knocked out of the park, Penney's has a size for you. Ladies will find kicky little numbers that fit no matter how bountiful the good Lord made them.

She apologized. Twice. And deleted one apology. (The second (or third?) apology: "Because of my personal beliefs as a Buddhist, I very much regret that my JC Penney article in the Times caused any wounded feelings whatsoever, particularly to people who already feel they take more than their share of abuse from our very shallow and ridiculous society." WEIRD. Buddhist what?) And unapologized at least once. (Which is the mark of, yes, a CRAZY PERSON.)

She is getting roasted in her own comments at her website: "You truly are a hack and your article makes you sound like a bitter little rich c*nt."

OH AND: "If I had seen what you looked like before I called you a snob, I would have felt pity for you instead. I didn't realize you were so ugly!!"

OH AND! "Maybe JC Penny will do you a kindness and design a Cintra hat for the fall season that helps eliminate the glare off your pasty face and that huge forehead." OH IT GOES ON: "Boo you whore! I mean boo you classist whore!"


Oh okay: "And before you go insulting people go and get some surgery. you look like a man."

And my fave: "I will never read the NYT is this is TRIPE they print and try to pass as journalism. I wrote to the editors and the president of NYT telling them the lack of integrity this has brought this paper down too." Oh good, you're never going to read the New York Times again? Good call. Drama queen!

Basically everyone is a nasty person. But guess what? Some of us are fat nasty people, and some of us are thin nasty people. Can't we all get unified by our nastiness and ignore the meaningless question of size on the Internet, where no one knows what we look like, but knows just that we are really awful in general?

And can't we get behind the idea that no one should have to shop at JC Penney, which is fucking disgusting?

91 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

The mannequins at JC Penney can't remember what they did yesterday, either.

In other news, you need to buy an air compressor here in the hefty hinterlands to inflate your sex partner.

jolie (#16)

This post is causing me to hyperventilate. AALJDKSADLKJA:LAJFLAKHFALA:LKASKA:FJA:SJL

TableNine (#1,104)

You said it, Anjolie.

jolie (#16)

Why exactly are you calling me by my full name? ARE YOU MY MOTHER?

TableNine (#1,104)

We went to SM together, and while I don't think I've seen you in like 10 years you are apparently friends with my friend Mo P.

jolie (#16)

But… I never went by Anjolie while I was at SM. But hey, hi, Age Quod Agis, etc.

Abe Sauer (#148)

as a teen who got to pick out ONE new item from Pennies each school year (Levi's) I have a soft place in my heart for the store that, while hardly "fashionable," was as close as many got in rural USA where ShopKo and its Wrangler collection was the next option and Milwaukee was more than 2 hours away. And pennies is leading the charge of fat acceptance, but Gap etc are all tricking out their sizes to better fit America. It's a shame she had to be so harsh because it really just reinforces the (not entirely wrong) notion in middle america that new yorkers may be thinner, more attractive, richer and more politically, culturally and artistically progressive, but they are tremendously mean pricks who you wouldn't wat to have over for a BBQ for fear they would laugh at your pedestrian hot dogs and jell-o salad.

HiredGoons (#603)

I would to feel bad about being thinner, more attractive… but as a homosexual I'm pretty sure I could fuck off and die for all most of them would care, so I don't (feel bad).

I'm not nearly as afraid of these mean pricks as I am some of those Tea Partiers you wrote about, Abe.

Rod T (#33)

I've been to JC Penney's because I needed a new juice extractor. Their choices were few and were very middle of the road. Their deep fryer assortment was full-spectrum however!

DISCLOSURE: In 1992 I was assistant buyer for kitchen electrics at Macy's.

La Cieca (#1,110)

…juice extractor…

shorty (#885)

I'm going to need to see some pictures of those mannequins.

brianvan (#149)

I might have bought a tie there, and some khakis for the weekend, but only because I don't want to pay $200 each for those in Soho!

Rod T (#33)

As a hot gay muscle daddy-bear (or so I'm told) with a trendy pot-belly, the clothing there was not an option, although I did note that they carry Hanes. (Cruising the bathrooom wasn't even an option; the clientele is cock-stymieing.)

brianvan (#149)

Yes, exactly! If you're on 32nd Street, and you realize that you can avoid doing your laundry for another week if you pick up 2 packs of boxers, they're PERFECT for that. And perfect for that white Stafford dress shirt that I have to wear to an office and I'm just going to spill coffee on anyway. (Or worse, the dreaded spaghetti desk lunch splatters) If you go into the 2nd sub-basement entrance where the B-D-F-V subway lines are, these things are RIGHT THERE in the front.

No, I'm not buying clothes at JCP to wear to parties in New York.

Rod T (#33)

The fact that you know that Stafford is a private label Penney's men's store program is both revealing and awing.

DISCLOSURE: In 1991, I was a "Manager, Men's Dress Furnishings" at Macy's in Southlake Mall, Atlanta, Georgia.

Ha. Stafford! Also: St. John's Bay.

Disclosure: In 1990, I worked the mens clothing department at K-Mart. That means I folded sweatpants, mostly. We had to wear ties!

coleslaw (#593)

There are khakis in Soho? I thought they had been driven out of the lower end of this island sometime in the early part of this decade, like snakes out of Ireland.

tralafel (#1,221)

I could see a Penney's making a killing in the 34th St. area.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Don't kid yourselves. There's a pecking order down at this end of the retail coop, as well. Penney's is for people who believe they're too sophisticated to go to Sears.

Rod T (#33)

If we only had a Kohl's …

sunnyciegos (#551)

I know a lady in Indiana who owns a fancy showhorse valued at about $80,000 that she named … TJ Maxx.

brianvan (#149)

If you're ever exiled to Jersey, there's one in Secaucus.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Saks > Macy's > Target > Herberger's > Sear's > JC Penny/Kohl's (tie!) > Kmart > ShopKo > Gordman's

tralafel (#1,221)

> Mervyn's

HiredGoons (#603)

Bloomingdales!? Blasphemer!

brent_cox (#40)

JC Penny's is the shopping equivalent of eating at Ponderosa.

Goons – Abe doesn't have Bloomie's in ND.
BUT Saks> Bloomie's > Macy's, etc.
Also, I'd put Penney's and Kohl's above Sears. If I can buy a Lawn Mower and prom dress in the same place, it's going to be toward the bottom of this continuum.

I think Kohl's is a little closer to Target actually. The accessories clinch it. (Come and let me show you my necklaces. Plus their selection of kitchen stuff is pretty decent!)

Also Macy's vary sooo widely, thanks to Federated swallowing up every department store chain out there.

HiredGoons (#603)

"If I can buy a Lawn Mower and prom dress in the same place, it’s going to be toward the bottom of this continuum."

I just choked.

I dunno, I liked it. The reviewicle wasn't nearly as bad as these quotes would lead one to believe. And really, it's me* she's writing for, no? A fellow crazy, maybe– but one who nevertheless appreciates the balls it takes to write some less-than-flattering lines about a potential (major) advertiser. Too bad she backed down.

* Lips full, sulking and sultry, my expression unblinking. (But you knew that, didn't you, Choire!)

I DID KNOW THAT. Also I am target audience. (IE, easily amused homos.)

HiredGoons (#603)

I was cackling through noon when I read it.

Matt (#26)

Buddhist what?

TableNine (#1,104)

Was there a Jezebel field trip to her website or something?

Anything that draws more lumbering tourists to the city is a bad thing. We already have to abandon midtown for most of December, lest we be forced to take lengthy detours around clusters standing four-abreast, staring saucer-eyed with chins undulating as they marvel up at Trump Tower. Meanwhile Minnesota has been left empty, door ajar and a single exposed light bulb left on in the kitchen.

Do they walk so slowly because they are fat? Or are they fat because they walk so slowly? It is an enigma wrapped in a burrito, deep-fried and smothered in ranch dressing.

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I sort of adore this Cintra person. "They probably need special insulin-based epoxy injections just to make their limbs stay on" gave me a LOLgasm.

tralafel (#1,221)

I've had a Macy's gift card that I've been sitting on for a year, mostly because I can't imagine anything worse than the Herald Square Macy's.

They walk so slowly because, being creatures of an automobile-heavy environment, they don't have any experience actually walking amongst other people. (I don't think the mall counts.)

Abe Sauer (#148)

Tourist, largely, lumber because… they are tourists and lumbering is a good way to experience just what a strange thing it is to walk down a valley of buildings when the tallest thing in your hometown is the stand-alone 6-story courthouse or a water tower.) And yeah, who wants their dirty money anyway. They may walk a little slower but it wasn't tourists who put a Chipolte on St. Marks Place or rented those apartments that made that gawking-worhty Trump tower possible…

mamacita (#127)

It is an enigma wrapped in a burrito, deep-fried and smothered in ranch dressing.

As as fat person from flyover country, I would like to give that a standing ovation. As soon as I put down my muffin.

delrayser (#319)

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

TableNine (#1,104)

And where's my TAB?

saythatscool (#101)

Raise your right huck, aerate. Raise you left huck, aerate.

saythatscool (#101)

I want to see more Teddy Roosevelts and less Franklin Roosevelts!

TableNine (#1,104)

And now Iroquoi Twists! One Hi Ya Ya, Two Hi Ya Ya!

saythatscool (#101)

"Push out the jive…bring in the love."

HiredGoons (#603)

'I just tripled my productivity.'

Can't they just use the rag-washing stick? IT IS SO UNFAIR THAT SOCIETY FORCES THEM TO BUY TWO UTILITY STICKS!!!!!!!

HiredGoons (#603)

"J. C. Penney has always trafficked in knockoffs that aren’t quite up to Canal Street’s illegal standards. It was never “get the look for less” so much as “get something vaguely shaped like the designer thing you want, but cut much more conservatively, made in all-petroleum materials, and with a too-similar wannabe logo that announces your inferiority to evil classmates as surely as if you were cursed to be followed around by a tuba section.”

I could quote the whole fucking article.

See? That's the thing. Apart from fattism and classism, it's really hilarious. (Or maybe "because of.") Sigh.

HiredGoons (#603)

regardless, it's really good writing, which I would LIKE to think is why I like it (bites lip).

HiredGoons (#603)

"a long psychedelic muumuu of a style generally worn by Rachel Zoe."

saythatscool (#101)

Park Slope Buddhism is quite thinning and good for the ego.

Rod T (#33)

I'd love to write a regular column, "Park Slope Buddhist". Mainly because I'm neither.

TableNine (#1,104)

Must be all the Mommy and Baby Bikram Classes.

saythatscool (#101)

Baby yoga sweat is filled with antioxidants and delicious when mixed with green tea. Just ask your Whole Foods clerk!

TableNine (#1,104)

The Co-op, please!

saythatscool (#101)

I have volunteered there for years!

Abe Sauer (#148)

This actually made me a little angry only because it's factually wrong. JC Penny has always carried name brands. It's just the industry that moved the goal posts on what is 'up to snuff'. Pennies always had Nike and Levis, Nicole Miller and adidas. How are those "wanna be" logos? And there was no inferiority to evil classmates because THEY WERE WEARING THE SAME THING. Sure, if you go to school at Gossip Girl, you're going to get laughed at for Pennies clothes. But then you;re also going to get laughed at because you don;t have an iphone and a trust fund.


MadrasSoup (#167)

Agreed. Also, while I suppose it makes New Yorkers (well, Wilson really) feel good to imagine that only tourists are buying these products to take back to flyover country and distribute to their hick friends, that's hardly a winning business strategy. So the next article she writes should try to suss out the unfashionable New Yorkers who buy those flammable clothes, since they're the main reason Penney's came to town.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Oh Abe, you're just confusing everybody with all that fact-y, information-y, stuff!

My ambition, organize a large group of blimp-shaped, Penny's-yclad pilgrims to Prada to mill around in Sansabelt slacks chewing our cud and dribbling it on the Rem Koolhaas architecture until Cintra Williams comes with a photographer and writes, and then apologizes, about silly Prada as amazingly as she did about marginally less silly JC Penny. This demand is non-negotiable. The fat people united will never be defeated.

@RonnieDobbs: I'm no retail expert, but I'm pretty sure that most of the stores now littering Fifth Avenue have set up shop specifically for tourists, who recognize the brands and can afford to buy something there. Then there's the prestige of having a New York flagship, which makes these visitors thrill to shop branch stores upon their return home.

Kind of like money-losing couture houses and perfume, only opposite!

gregorg (#30)

Uhh, no. In middle school in North Carolina, the "up to snuff" brands were Izod and Polo, which Penney's did not carry. And we very definitely made fun of our inferior classmates who wore shirts with that hopeless, riderless horse logo embroidered on it.

Cintra is right, and you are bloviating-wrong.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Again, it's the "snuff" that moved. Izod and polo were barely even known to anyone outside the east coast for most of Penny's history. And there were no "knockoffs" then because nobody was brand savvy enough to want the brands that might be knocked off. Guess was huge which maybe they ad (can't remember). And Levi's, which JC carried. She says "always" which, i guess to her, means "the last 15 years." And Levi's aren't designery enough, or up to snuff, but Izod is? Or Polo? If they qualify then every store that isn't a 5th ave. flahgship basically fit her target of just offering designer knockoffs with worse cuts.

Ariella (#1,340)

She didn't know that people take offense to being labeled 'fat'? Sharp minds over there at the NYT.
PS How long until we are treated the a SundayStyles trend story inspired by her teachable moment?

I will never read the NYT again!!!

IBentMyWookie (#133)

Cintra Wilson is a great writer. Seriously, both of her books are great, with A Massive Swelling being one of my favourite reads ever.

And really, fat people needs to chillax. Isn't the whole point of fatness the augmented sense of jollity?

HiredGoons (#603)

that's just the PR people telling you that.

hman (#53)

When I was little, I used to call the store "JCP Enney" because I thought I was a wiseass.

Styles section looking down on people who have big asses and small pocketbooks, film at 11.

If anything, that codification of the biases that I knew were there anyway was why the article rankled with me so much — and I like Wilson and have for a while. The fine line between sharp critique and cheap shots was run over so many times, I had to wonder if Perez Hilton's ghostwriter had a hand in writing the piece. Plus, shock about non-boutiques selling inexpensive clothes of not-very-quality materials… in Midtown? Has this woman never walked past a Strawberry?

Next time I'm in New York I'm goingn to walk into Prada on a Saturday afternoon (with about 3 Bloody Marys on an empty stomach) and loudly ask where their Plus Sizes are. Then I'm going to throw up and leave.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Not without me!

Bittersweet (#765)

I'm with you Sarah. Especially because as a size 8, I probably am a plus size at Prada.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Has Daisy Fuentes had a chance to digest this yet?

tralafel (#1,221)

The queue is pretty long.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Playing to the Pageview
with (few) apologies to Cintra Wilson

The New York Times has broken free of its addiction to pulp-based distribution methods to invade the rest of the world's internet, and the most frequent question on the literate world's collective lips seems to be: Why?

Why would this perennially respected newspaper bother to reanimate itself across America â€" the dumbest, most knee-jerk population in any first world nation â€" during a hair-raising economic downturn, without taking the opportunity to vigorously rebrand itself? Why would this pompous Elite upper-crust entity waddle into America in its banker's collars and Columbia MAs without even bothering to update its entrenched spite for this very population?

The New York Times has always trafficked in journalism that isn't quite up to The Economist standards. It was never “all the news that's fit to print” so much as “all the news that our connections deep within the American Kleptocracy have deemed fit to print and some that isn't because it's been made up by overly-ambitious reports more interested in personal fame than true journalism."

But things, perhaps, have changed.

The editorial sections of the New York Times seem to be trying, in a somewhat timid fashion, to thump with new energy. Mini-sections flirt with pageview-attracting stunt features – like getting meaningless slideshows on boobs or German directors or Irish band frontmen to babble incoherently about their world views- not quite Op Ed, but nearly an opinion. It is possible for a reader to navigate away feeling mildly reinforced in an already-held opinion. Middle age liberals were quite delighted, gasping and squealing to find their worldviews memorialized by actual Nobel-winning columnists with pieces like "Health Care Realities" and "Republican Death Trip."

A cheerful editorial intern, Ima GonnabeaBlogger, assured me: “I really genuinely like working here. We are one big, happy, tight-knit family in editorial.”

When I asked what she liked best about The New York Times, Ms. GonnabeaBlogger replied, “The knowledge, the diversity, the layout,” with a talking-point accuracy that I suspected came to her via instructional videotape.

“There’s a lot of ways to advance within the company,” she continued, with genuine enthusiasm. “I am learning to do all sorts of things.” Ms. GonnabeaBlogger hopes that working at the Times will move her closer to her goal of a career in journalism, and her positive upward mobility struck me (and I say this with no sarcasm) as being a good thing on dozens of levels.

Since the 1900s, The New York Times, like a retail Island of Dr. Moreau, has been doing a sinister experiment with various writers, turning them into something … not quite human. The plot is a journalism democratization known as “bullshit,” which sounds proctological, but is a marketing term created by a fusion of “bull” and “shit.” It refers to a downward brand extension: writers compelled to put their good names on down-market lines of “affordable content.” (Read: items of cheaper materials, sold online to lower priced advertising.)

A good 96 percent of the New York Times inventory is made of press releases and insider connections. The few column items that are made of real research make a sincere point of being so and tell you earnestly about their 100-percent not a press-release with faux-hand-scribbled titles so obviously desperate to be taken seriously they practically spilt ink.

It took me a long time to find a something worth reading among the sections. There are, however, abundant style, opinion and boomer-centric love columns about divorce. The pages are big, clean and well tended. I tried two fairly intelligent items: a modified "Death Panels" thing by Jim Ruthenberg and a Michael Vick piece by Judy Battista. Each was around 400 words; each fit nicely and read good. I didn’t buy either because I can just read the summary on some blog.

AND herein lies the genius of the New York Times: It has made a point of providing content for people of one mindset (a strategy, company officials have said, to preserve the business from blogs and online papers). To this end, it has some of the most pathetic page-view baiting strategies I have ever seen. The editors probably need special heroin-based injections just to help them sleep at night.

This online environment has been almost wholly neglected on our snobby, self-obsessed little industry. Big newspapers tend to cater to the old, hopelessly out of touch, diabetic-tortured Palm Beach divorcee. But there are many more readers who vote with their hard-earned dollars, who appreciate a clean new idea in journalism. Since The Times remains so doggedly unchanged, it seems to be a familiar place for the nostalgic; they feel comfortable buying a New York Times, and the paper still feels special sitting on the coffee table for guests to see, because it's the New York Times.

And that will probably make some poor bastard feel pretty good about himself.

lempha (#581)

Thanks for that.

saythatscool (#101)

This is outstanding.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Out here where I live, it's like a free upgrade to Dr. Pepper from Mr. Pibb.

WindowSeat (#180)

That was gorgeous and I emailed it to Cintra because I know she'll enjoy it. Trust me, she hasn't enjoyed much in the past couple of days.

Cintra Wilson (#1,348)

I am Cintra Wilson, and I approve this message.

Nice po-mo recontruct, Abe. I tip my $270 hat to ye.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Ha ha. Cintra: Thanks. I don't mind the fat people slights. I actually LIKE the meanness. It's just, as a kid who grew up on Penny's, the factual problems. and $270… is that what the Times pays now for 1,000 words?

blatanville (#860)

Sharp and cutting!

Rod T (#33)

I want to insert body parts into you as a sign of appreciation. Nice.

ProfessorBen (#1,254)

I want your wit and aplomb!

missdelite (#625)

Oh, how I <3 The Internets.

Kataphraktos (#226)

Note From a Fat Person:

As one who used to be hella-fat and is now just fat (actually, "borderline fuckable" would be the precise measure of my BMI) and New York born-and-raised, I can tell you these wonderful things:

Fat people are whiny betas who want the world to accept them as they are because they do not have the courage or the will to get thin. In this day and age, this is UNFORGIVABLE. Can't cut back on food? Can't drag yourself to the gym? Get yourself a fucking lap-band, it is E-Z-Mode weight loss for the price of six months' worth of corn dogs and Doritos.

Fix what you can, and what you can't, stop trying to fix by yourself.

So Cintra makes fun of fat people. Guess what? Tell a fatso he's lost weight, and they feel so good about themselves that they go out and stuff themselves with thousands of calories of lard and carbs. Make them feel bad, and they go out and stuff themselves with approximately the same number of calories of lard and carbs.

With fat people, you can't win.

That said, fat people who make up their minds to lose weight need support, because it is really FUCKING DIFFICULT. Support is a significant other who behaves like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and nags, bitches and moans you away from the fridge and into the gym (yes, I'm looking at you, dear submissive, passive, passive-aggressive ex, but while looking at you, I don't blame you, I blame myself for not dumping your sorry ass before you turned me into a sniveling beta pussy, I will never understand how that happened, and it will take years of bitchslapping women to get over it). Support is friends who don't give you one iota of sympathy for being fat and push you to do what it takes to join them in happy skinny land.

But just like fat people need support when they decide to really lose the weight, fat people who want "the world to accept them as they are", who want airlines to provide special seats, stores to provide special clothes (UUUGGGHHH the list goes on and on) need to be denigrated and shamed. At some point, not fitting through a doorway, not fitting in an airline seat, not having slipped your weewee into something alive, warm and wet in many months (or had same done to your hoo-ha), being ridiculed and criticized will achieve a point of catalysis, at which time the reaction changes from one of "me depressed and angry, eat more" to "I've had enough, I can't fix this by myself, and I need to fix this or I will die young and they won't have a casket in my size goddamnit".

Support is NOT giving fat people clothes that fit. In fact, the OPPOSITE is what is necessary here. One of the indicators that pushed me to change my lifestyle was that I could only shop at Big and Fucking Jesus H. Fatass stores… and the only one in Manhattan was Rochester, which has a lot of beautiful clothes by many great labels, but is freaking expensive as shit.

If nothing else tells you something has to give, perhaps its being forced to pay $30 for the same cotton T-shirt in XXL that your friends buy on sale at the regular store for five bucks.

So, yeah, support Cintra, even if she is a bit of a snagly-toothed uberbitch (I'd still do her), because she is in fact HELPING FAT PEOPLE by being mean to them.

The same set of principles can be applied to pretty much any of these new-age "minorities" seeking special status and treatment.

sunnyciegos (#551)

I'm a thin Midwesterner who stuffs herself with pasta and cookie dough on a regular basis. Feel free to hate me, I feel a mild amount of guilt about it. Anyhoo, it ain't all willpower.

SeaBassTian (#281)

At the risk of sounding like an insensitive snob, I think the Fats misunderstand the purpose of a review. Cintra Wilson was given the assignment of recording her subjective observations on this retail juggernaut. And having read both of her books, I can verify that this was a kindler, gentler CW. I know the huddled masses don't really get sarcastic cynicism, but after reading the article, it struck me that this was CW playing nice.

stew (#1,351)

It's a big myth that fat people are jolly, and it's a darn shame. If I could dunk my cheeseburger in bleu cheese dip, I'd be the nicest human being on Earth.

blatanville (#860)

"Why apologize for being a bitch? You meant it, so just fucking stand by it. You didn't hurt my feelings, but it's hard for me to take someone who writes a fashion column seriously. I mean brain dead whores are useful for something, I'm sure, but changing my worldview isn't one of those things.

Someone has to do all that coke, and suck all those investment bankers off. I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings. I'm sure it's probably not true that you're a size two because you have a drug habit, or that you're afraid if you aren't thin enough you won't be loved. Hell, you might not even be buliemic! It's possible!

their share of abuse from our very shallow and ridiculous society

Since you prop this society up, this is kind of hilarious. Your entire column was an endorsement of it. I thought the Times used to have standards? That was before we all got ass raped by Wall Street. I miss those days.

Okay, all kidding aside, your job is continue a blank tradition of total unimportance in order to maintain a social order that is a complete joke. Fashion is a fucking farce. It's sad you feel the need to elevate yourself above J.C. Penney's trash clients because you happen to fit an acceptable social niche. Clothes are not special for being bought in NYC and implying some tourist will think they are is disgusting.

This is why I hate when you assholes come to Philly. Keep your pretentious trash up there. We have enough dicks here already. Thanks for making NYC look shitty.

Posted by: Cat Grant at August 12, 2009 9:57 PM "


Bittersweet (#765)

She forgot the standard-issue liposuction, but otherwise this is pure poetry.

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