Frightening tabloid news! The New York Post is outraged that gun-toting yahoos from the boondocks are no longer standing on every corner, menacing actual New Yorkers, and doing absolutely nothing, as they have for the last eight years. Yes, the National Guard has cut back its New York City presence, from 430 goons to 280. How are we supposed to feel unsafe without poorly-trained farm boys menacing us with enormous weapons during our commutes? What if Russia invades and only a group of upstart smart-aleck kids, led by C. Thomas Howell, can save us from WWIII?
Monday, August 31, 2009
9
What if Russia invades and only a group of upstart smart-aleck kids, led by C. Thomas Howell, can save us from WWIII?
Then I guess we'll finally have that chance to admire The Swayze up close and personal.
This needs a "city mouse hates country mouse" or a "New Yorker Wakes up on wrong side of bed, blames Wichita" tag...
help me, wild mane-flipping Lea Thompson! You're our only hope!
We're hoping our gun-toting yokels come back to the Provinces with a gloss of civilization from being in your fair City. We're also hoping they will bring a new-found interest in heirloom tomatoes, Italian shoes and restaurants that aren't Olive Garden.
and Prada eyeware & espresso.
As a Goon, I resent being associated with these yahoos.
I took some (much delayed) comfort in finding out that said goons, in the weeks after 9/11 when they first appeared everywhere with their automatic weapons, didn't have live rounds. Police state as performance art.
The surprising thing about this posting is that there were only 430 of these machine-gun carrying people patrolling the NYC subways since 9/11. They seemed to be omnipresent these past 8 years. Speaking as one of the 3.1 million daily NYC subway passengers that has had to frequently endure standing or riding next someone holding loaded machine-guns-- while simply just going about the business of getting to and from the office and other meetings-- I am glad there will be less of them in the near future. Having this type of firearm on the streets of NYC doesn't make you safe or even feel safer.
Were they necessary? Who knows?
But I do know if a natural disaster hit tomorrow, you people (yeah, I said YOU PEOPLE) would be the first ones crying and screaming for these "poorly-trained" goons to come and save your sorry asses.