Benson, a gigantic English carp, has passed away at the age of 25. There are suspicions that she was deliberately poisoned with raw tiger nuts by an irate fisherman who was unable to capture her. But mostly there is grief.
"We are all rocked by Benson's death. She was an iconic carp," a mourner tells the Times of London. "We are all still trying to come to terms with her death. Money could not have bought Benson. She had that celebrity status. I can't stress how famous she was in the angling world. All fisherman wanted to catch her. It was the size of the fish, but also the fact that she was scale perfect. It looked as if the scales had been painted on."
In the Guardian, which seems to think that Benson was male, obituarist John Bailey tries to put the popular carp's life in perspective.
I never met Benson. I don't know what he was like as a fish. But through the 1980s, I pursued a carp called Eric in his Norfolk lake home. (I say Eric but Erica is more apt! When she died, she was full of eggs.) During all that time, I swear Erica got to know me as well as I did her. She was happy to flaunt herself, to tease and to tantalise. I often wondered who was trying to fool who.Our thoughts and prayers go out to his "numerous widows, thousands of offspring." If, in fact, he or she had them.
Well, at least he'll live on, mounted on a wall and forced to sing "Take Me To The River" whenever a motion sensor goes off.
There's always reincarpation.
Carpe diem.
Hi how the fuck do you know how old this fish is.
Fish have bones in their heads called otoliths which have rings in them kind of like a tree. a scientist can take a thin slice of an otolith off a dead fish, look at the rings and determine the approximate age of a fish, just like they do with trees from what i understand.
I would never have guessed you'd be so fish-aware.
My mother worked the docks alot when I was a kid.
Well, shit.
I'm with mathnet. You're certainly very attuned to the ichthyological community. I'm in awr of you.
Now she is dead, and â€" just as with Diana, Princess of Wales, and Marilyn Monroe â€" a mythology has already started to build up around her passing.
Great. Now we're going to have to hear from that fish fucker Tony Curtis.
That's a shame. I always loved "Soap". With gay Billy Crystal.
Poor Hedges.
"Beer-battered and fried, with some malt vinegar and chips. [chewing] Benson would have wanted it this way."
now I'm hungry.
How did it feel to hold that giant fish in your arms, Balk?
They were just as sad when the UK's oldest goldfish died.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/414114.stm
"She was an iconic carp"!! I will have to work really hard for the rest of my life in an attempt to get something this wonderful said about me when I croak
"She was happy to flaunt herself, to tease and to tantalise. I often wondered who was trying to fool who."
I think he's doing a pretty good job of fooling himself.
Now, I'm just a simple country blogger and I don't know much about fish. But it seems like Benson might have lived longer if he hadn't been so often hauled gasping out of his watery habitat. Or am I just carping?
Needs more Radiohead.
Their "Harry Perch (in memory of)" is an instant classic.
So in other words, Benny Hill was just real?
how does one go about acquiring raw tiger nuts?
God I love England. When your mate gets blown up by a bomb, you keep a stiff upper lip, but you weep outwardly for the passing of a large fish. The degree of emotional perversity is as good as an indicator as any I can imagine of civilization at its highest.
And, speaking of England, I just noticed that my number is 1066 (in gray, next to the avatar and username). Does that in any way undermine my professed love of England?