'G.I. Joe' Will Come To Audiences Fresh
Paramount has declined to screen G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for critics in advance of the film's Friday release date. The studio says "it's intentionally aiming the movie at the heartland, at cities and audiences outside the entertainment vortexes of New York and Los Angeles," and it doesn't want critical perceptions of director Stephen Sommers' powerful meditation on the tragic costs of war for one infantryman whose struggles with post-traumatic stress syndrome are exacerbated by his loss of health insurance to frighten away audiences who might worry that the movie is too dark.
Las Vegas is an entertainment vortex. New York and Los Angeles actually contribute to the culture.
Well, New York does.
"…tragic costs of war for one infantryman whose struggles with post-traumatic stress syndrome are exacerbated by his loss of health insurance…"
He had also invested with Madoff and bought a house at the height of the bubble with a loan that is due to reset.
I'm guessing there's verisimilitude with its inspiration, in that this one has no dick, either.
Needs more Sgt. Slaughter.
Oh God, it took me five minutes to get the COBRA joke. I should go back to reading Gawker.
Palinspeak now part of the real American lexicon. Message for the rest of us: this movie will be shitty. A dark, dark, stinky shitty. Unlike The Dark Knight, which remains a religious experience.
I have a friend inside that says it's worse than Death to Smoochy.
Pic is so bad it broke the Large Hadron Collider, but is it bad enough to make it worth seeing…?
The best part of this whole circle-jerking charade is the studio's preposterous insistence that it wants to protect the movie's true vision so it's skipping critics while self-important critics lie through their teeth about how not being able to critically review GI-fucking-Joe is an affront to "art" or something. An even better part is this backhanded bit: "isn't screening the blockbuster for critics beforehand." then "Only a select few writers from blogs and movie Web sites have seen it for review…" Ha. Suck it Internet!
I saw the trailer Sunday night in Madrid just before seeing "Pelham 123" and the audience of mostly adults shrieked laughter and insults at the screen. I can't wait to see it.
Wait, a Spanish audience that was willfully at a profit-driven remake of a classic starring a bloated Danny Zucko as a hardened neck-tatted terrorist was insulted by Gi Joe?!?
Ha!
If you could sit through Pelham (which I could) you can sit through this. The dialogue is pure fondue but the beefcake and fart jokes cut through that.