Oh Trent Reznor, it is okay that you are never going to tour your Nine Inch Nails again, but do you have to go out like this? "I'd never want to be Gene Simmons, an old man who puts on makeup to entertain kids, like a clown going to work." HARSH, DUDE.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
18
Hope I diet before I get old.
After the Palin ads and then Diane Von F ads coming up for that man-cap shopping post, I was DYING to see what kind of ad would serve for a Gene Simmons piece.... Cute Kid of the Year contest? Mmmmm, ok. C+
Google isn't MAGIC. Heh. Ooh wait I'm getting KISS RINGTONES!
I got an ad for Lee Press-On Nails.
I got a very appropriate ad for Disability Insurance
I got "How much free music can you download in 7 days?"
Apparently, it's "100% legal!"
Of course, they don't say WHAT KIND of music. I'm guessing polka.
Klowns In Satan's Service
I don't think Reznor needs to worry too about that.
If I were hiring a singing clown to entertain kids, I'd probably steer clear of the "I want to fuck you like an animal!" guy.
What if he did a re-write? I wanna make a balloon animal!
hmmm, should be "make you"
This is the second time Reznor has dissed Simmons in the press. Who doesn't know Gene is in it for the money like a bunch of other aged rockers? He's been giving an almost weekly rundown on who's a clown and why, I believe Manson is a dopey one. I believe Reznor has named his final tour "Misery Chick Snarkings".
So true. "Trent Razor?" remarked Simmons in response, lighting a cigar with a burning hundred-dollar bill, "never heard of him. Is he the emo punk-rocker guy who does magic in Vegas? He's banging that Playboy chick that Hef used to nail right? Niiiiiiice,"
The better reply would have been, "I know you are but what am I.", because why not go full on man-child with this.
Well, Trent's sure got the "grumpy" part down.
KISS was everything that was wrong about music 30 years ago, and could at least have given us a died-in-their-own-vomit legend to mock by now. Knowing Trent is dissing Simmons makes me love him all the more.
One of my favorite rock disses was from Kid Rock about Scott Stapp. When asked whether he was embarrassed about the sex tape Mr. Rock responded that he was more embarrassed to have anyone know that he hung out with Scott Stapp.
At this point, if Gene Simmons didn't dress up in the KISS outfit and make-up he would be an unnaturally dark haired, ugly old man.
I have it on very good authority that Trent R. has some hydraulics issues. Watch your ass, heart like a hole.