Monday, July 27th, 2009

Things You Can Own: "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off"

There are so many new exciting sources of investment income these days! Fortunately you can own 25% of 20% of 50% of the performance royalties only of 80s pop hit "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off," as recorded by Jermaine Stewart, long dead now, and then you can retire, because you will be rich. Or stupid. (Here, the math: for every dollar earned that qualifies for performance royalties, you get, lesse: OH A SHINY ROUND 2.5 PENNIES.)


5 Comments / Post A Comment

Hez (#147)

Ironically, at that rate you probably cannot, as the song exhorts, "dance and party all night," although I do believe the "cherry wine" is a remarkably good value, if you can stomach it.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Also see there are several of the Monkees tunes with percentages up for offer. Own 1% of the "(Theme From) (Hey Hey We're) The Monkees," fer instance.

For $3k you appear to have free and clear title to go around telling people you own 1/100th of that song, hoping Toyota wants it for an ad, or maybe Seth Rogan wakes up drunk and humming it in a Judd Apatow flick; or you could even possibly tell people at a dinner party you own 1% of it, before someone asks you to pass the peas, even though you know everyone fucking hates peas.

mathnet (#27)

Nah nah nah naaah na-na nah. NAH NAH!

This post is also a GMAT math question.

I would buy 2 1/2 percent of a Sheena Easton song on account of how unbelievably hot I used to think she was.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Oh, hello there. Aren't you the curious one.

I just came in here to practice my parallel parking.

Let's see if this works:

Naw, guess not. Back to junior college with you, Karen.

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