Friday, July 31st, 2009
11

The Annotated White House Flickr Feed, with Ana Marie Cox and Jason Linkins: A Trip Around the World Visiting Tiny, Evil, Horny and/or Kenyan Men

Did you know that the White House staff photographer shoots Barack Obama every 1.4 seconds? That is a fact. Particularly when our "President" is traveling around the world, representing the interests of Kenya and the health care lobby. And here we have Ana Marie Cox (Daily Beast and Playboy contributor) and Jason Linkins (editor of the Huffington Post's Eat the Press) to make sense of all this abundant photograph evidence for us!

Obama!
JASON: That is a short man.
ANA: Dmitry Medvedev is Dudley Moore! Oh, little man! I loved you in Bedazzled!
JASON: In Soviet Russia, moon and New York City gets caught between you!

Obama!

In Moscow, two plates of warm spit were prepared so that Obama would not miss Joe Biden so much.

Obama!
And so, the Council of Elrond was enjoined.

Obama!

As it turns out, the Russian version of MEET THE PRESS is WAAAY more intimidating.

Obama!

ANA: Oh, WH photog Pete Souza, with your funky ass perspective shot.
JASON: This looks like that X-Files episode on that boat. I keep expecting Gillian Anderson to run through the frame.
ANA: Robert Gibbs wishes Gillian Anderson would run through the frame!

Obama!

ANA: Look! Dudley Moore is there! Obama got stuck with the Medvedev-sized glass.
JASON: In Russia, I wonder if you order coffee in Venti, Grande, and Medvedev sized.

Obama!

ANA: AWWW.
JASON: Look at the cute office Medvedev has! For the pocket-sized puppet leader.
ANA: He's got a torchier lamp! And a neato booster seat!

Obama!

JASON: Damn! Look at that! Why is Russian shit so much shinier than our shit?
ANA: Ehh, I think they get most of their furniture from Pottery Barn.

Obama!

Medvedev tells Obama about the Tri-Wizard Tournament and all the spells he learned at Durmstrang.

Obama!

JASON: "My mind had been enabled, in a memory you overflowed…"
ANA: Robert Gibbs is definitely the "Turtle" of this entourage.

Obama!

ANA: Check out Mr. Foster Grants on the side.
JASON: It looks like Will Leitch! What is Will doing in Russia?
ANA: Starring in a 1970's Cold War porn, apparently!

Obama!

JASON: Foreign military people: Why do they walk so jaunty?
ANA: Hey, in Russia, at least you don't have to "ask."

Obama!

JASON: Jesus. Is that the Swiss Guard?
ANA: That is the Swiss Guard. They also have their own line of Happy Meals.
JASON: Find a plenary indulgence inside each one!

Obama!

This looks like the start of bad Tony Kushner play, entitled: "HOLY SHIT, NAZI POPE! FLEE FLEE AWAY!"

Obama!

Wow. We didn't know Skip Gates was so athletic.

Obama!

No, no! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Obama!

Health care lobbyists. [Not Pictured]

Obama!

He totally throws like a Kenyan.

Obama!

The Church of Latter Day Saints' Thomas Munson explains how the retroactive baptism thing sort of like a time-share dealie.

Obama!

When in Rome, do as the Romans do: that is, meet a trio of half-assed historical re-enactors on the tarmac.

Obama!

More bars, more places.

Obama!

So THAT'S what happened to Tito the Builder!

Obama!

Frames within crosses within frames with ghostly angel remnants floating in the distance, by Pete Souza.

Obama!

JASON: We haven't talked a lot about Pete Souza's obsession with place settings.
ANA: These all look normal sized. I love how he has to be reminded that he went to the G8 to discuss "International Issues."

Obama!

JASON: This looks like a Hieronymous Bosch painting.

ANA: Typical. Silvio Berlusconi is discussing how massive his cock is.

Obama!

JASON: Is this a picture of Robert Gibbs, fresh out of the dunk tank?
ANA: No, this is in Italy. Though maybe they made Gibbs in the dunk tank there, too.

Obama!

Obama finally appears in his own Verizon commercial.

Obama!

Health care lobbyists wave to the President.

Obama!

Barack Obama visits the Kenyan "President Mill" that the birthers are trying to warn us about.

Obama!

Obama visits Ghana's Cape Coast Castle, constructed entirely from chips from the shoulders of angry blacks.

Obama!

Wow. Can't make fun of that guy.

Obama!

Yeah, but fuck these people.



Previously:
Someone's in the Kitchen with Mike Allen

The Case of the Crazy Runaway Apple

11 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

The attached ad: "Find Your Russian Beauty Today."

I'm falling in love with you a bit, Google.

mgw (#89)

The other one says, "WARNING: Do Not Read This If You Have Moral, Ethical Or Religious Reasons Against Hurting (Or Even Killing) Someone Who Violently Attacks You, Your Wife Or Your Kids…"

It's as if they stuck a microchip in my brain and deduced the goods and services I most require. This affluent young white male is well served!

Abe Sauer (#148)

Google sez: Let us help you find your Russian beauty, love less necessary than Via, AmEx.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Visa…

sludjbunni (#741)

Via(gra) would also fit, but I am an elder.

NicFit (#616)

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Kenyamerica.

katiebakes (#32)

In Soviet Russia … they apparently don't have any footballs.

:(

jaimealyse (#647)

And can only afford one alt text.
:*(

Dan Kois (#646)

As everyone who worked for Student Television learned back when President Clinton visited our college campus, one does not "shoot" the President. One "films" or "photographs" the President.

jerekeys (#1,258)

When I read these, I always hear the Gilmore Girls in my head. Jason sounds like Rory.

Bittersweet (#765)

When is McD's bringing the Swiss Guard Happy Meal to the U.S.? 'Cause I kinda need a plenary indulgence or two right now.

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