Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Sarah Palin Gone Wild

"We'd better hurry up and find mom before Sarah Palin shoots us from the air."A reading from the book of Sarah:

Great day w/bear management wildlife biologists; much to see in wild territory incl amazing creatures w/mama bears' gutteral raw instinct to protect & provide for her young; She sees danger? She brazenly rises up on strong hind legs, growls Don't Touch My Cubs & the species survives & mama bear doesn't look 2 anyone else 2 hand her anything; biologists say she works harder than males, is provider/protector for the future. Yes it was another outstanding day in AK seeing things the rest of America should see;applicable life lessons we're blessed to see firsthand.

These are indeed valuable lessons! I am super-thrilled to hear that lady bears can care for their offspring without taking a handout from the state, unlike, say, WELFARE QUEENS. In any event, this self-reliance is extremely important for the bears, particularly since Palin's Alaska sanctions "the hunting of black bear sows and cubs in an 11,000-square-mile area northwest of Anchorage where the goal is to kill 60 percent of the black bear population." Who's looking out for you, Mama and Baby Bear? No one. Thank God you can handle it on your own.

16 Comments / Post A Comment

She is clearly pissed about what a putz Todd is.

KarenUhOh (#19)

A perfect vision for America: self-reliance, emphasis on family, and a round in the gut from someone a half mile away with a telescope.

sigerson (#179)

And I love that SarahPAC ads appear alongside this article. Is there a "do not like" button for ads on The Awl?

gregorg (#30)

I'm clicking on them right now.

Oh if only she'd seen a bear before the election! That's a winning metaphor for Mr and Mrs Lumpenvoter, aged 6 and 3/4.

NicFit (#616)

"mama bear doesn't look 2 anyone else 2 hand her anything" like $150,000 in clothing from Saks and Neiman?

myfanwy (#1,124)

She fought for those tooth and nail. Blood and sweat and just like the brave American troops you betcha uh huh.

atipofthehat (#797)

A mama bear would look awesome in fancy duds!

But doesn't Palin kill bears, at the end of the day?

BadUncle (#153)

And with one swipe of her mighty paw, the former governor pulls the floundering conservative attention span ashore, where she may consume it with berries and honey.

WindowSeat (#180)

Single Mothers should forage for nuts, berries and carrion. WIC is Wealth Confiscation. Hibernate also.

Spirochete (#1,123)

And here I thought bears survived (as a family, not a species, you moron) because of their rapacious sexual appetites, willingness to eat and drink anything not tied to a tree out of reach, aggressive tempers and ability to rip people's faces off.

Kind of like frat boys, come to think of it, only frat boys may be less likely to eat people's heads. I think.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Does a Hockey Mom tweet in the woods?

jfruh (#713)

"& the species survives" sounds like DARWIN TALK, lady.

atipofthehat (#797)

You never hear about Welfare Kings. Or even princes, dukes, earls, viscounts, and suchlike.

Must be a bureaucratic reason for it.

She's getting "life lessons" from animals that have not yet evolved to use cutlery.

This woman certainly has her finger on the pulse of her constituents.

afarerkind (#379)

This lady is truly the master of the extended metaphor.

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