Did you know that today is Canada Day? Of course you didn't! Outside of the 11 Canadian expats the Times got to write these little essays on what they miss about their homeland (Tim Long's bit at the end is remarkably sweet, by the way) it's unlikely that even most Canadaers are aware that today is the day to celebrate all things Canadish. Or maybe they do. I don't know, it's Canada... who can really understand what these strange people of the tundra comprehend? In any event, for those readers who hail from the big block of ice that makes Michigan seem cosmopolitan, here is my Canada Day present to you: A video by your favorite band, whom you're all still allowed to like because they never broke America. Enjoy your day, Canadites! Or, as you would put it, "Eh, you hosers, something about Molson beer and/or hockey, etc." Did I say that right?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
16
I was going to leave a pity comment, but it's so hard for me to type with gloves on.
Erm, "pithy". See what I mean?
It worked just as well the other way.
There's a Kokanee Jell-O fight between Hez and Rachel Sklar on TSN, but the fuckers at Comcast are scrambling it.
We're bodypainting each other's Rockies in Nanaimo bar filling. Is pretty sessy, aktully.
Ah, sweet Canada Day! The day that we, as Americans, give thanks that in case global warming turns out to be real, our new homeland lies supine and succulent, ripe for the plucking.
Our ever-increasing trash heap will stop you at the border.
I always took you as more of a Martha & the Muffins kinda guy.
Oh, we know. It's also our Fearing Prince Charles Day.
No Canada Day would be complete without the Subhumans' Oh, CanaDUH!
There's a vat of Canadian Club Rye with your name on it up here, Balk. And you know mami's got your hookup if as many of us Westerners do, you prefer to celebrate Cannabis Day. Y'Awl come up now, y'hear?
If Canada didn't exist, we would have to invent it.
I read "tragically little hip bones."
Connected to the tragically little thigh bones.
You even get the country wrong. There's no such place as "Canadia," where I toil as a journalist. Don't you have spell check?
Even a Canadian institution like the Tragically Hip make reference to our southern neighbours: 1:30 into this video is an American quarter...
And let's not forget that their most enduring song is called "New Orleans Is Sinking." (released more than 15 years before Katrina, BTW)
And, sadly, Molson is now part of the Coors conglomerate...how's that for fucking cultural imperialism?
Thanks for the wishes, people "below" us, we'll return it in three days (is that a Jesus reference, or Jane's Addiction? Never mind.)