Samuel "Joe The Plumber" Wurzelbacher has decided not to run for public office after a personal conversation with God in which the Heavenly Father suggested Wurzelbacher might better follow his calling by remaining at the grassroots level, "preferably way, way in the back." The seven minute conversation was repeatedly peppered with awkward pauses as God unsuccessfully attempted to choke back laughter; at one point the deity snorted so loudly that it registered as a minor earthquake in southern California.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
14
Is that the same God that signed Sarah Palin's email about what a blessing Trig is?
I have to agree with evangenital:
"Maybe there is a God..."
I hope this wasn't just a Google image search result because seriously? Every time this turn of phrase is uttered? I think of this album cover. Oh, Dave Wyndorf. So baller.
What say you NOW, Christopher Hitchens?
Why you don't have a column here is beyond me. Seriously, get on it you guys.
STRONGLY AGREE
Wow! Thanks, y'all.
God also asked him to remove his "Plumbers Have The Longest Snakes" bumper sticker. Joe said he'll think about it.
But wait until we hear from the Virgin Mary, as she may feel differently about Joe's candidacy.
I lead my life as a good atheist yet still wonder, "What if there really is a Wurzelbacher?"
I don't know, but if there is Wurlitzerbonker, well, I'm considering my options.
Everytime I read this guy's last name, I think, "Isn't there an organ named that?"
And I feel this must have been what was weighing on God's mind, as well.
Good Balk, good one.
God Says Drano