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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

24

Ego Te Absolvo

My sleep was deeply troubled last night, and the early dawn made clear that there would be no catching up the lost hours on the other side of the morning, so I rose early and began trudging down to the Awl offices. Along Second Avenue I found myself behind a gentleman who was wearing the rumpled clothes of the previous evening. At first I thought the might be one of the new summer homeless, but he stopped at the corner and hailed a cab. After telling the driver his destination, he lowered his head and held his face in his hand-the universal symbol of regret.

Well, life's just hard as it is. None of us know what the future holds. But in the spirit of renewal, on a day that has at least started out sunny and bright, and by the power vested in me as a nationally-ranked Print/Online Reporter, I hereby absolve you all for any bad decisions you made yesterday. (Even attending Capoeira class.) Go about your day head held high, and know you have been forgiven. Also, good morning! Let's all get through it together.

24 Comments / Post A Comment

DarthSpacegrass

Thank you. I needed that.

Choire Sicha

Ooh, a pun in Latin!

But do you absolve me for still being in bed?

Alex Balk
Alex Balk (#4)

Yes. All is forgiven! Now get started on that e-mail.

jfruh
jfruh (#713)

Huh, I ... I always assumed that the whole concept of the "Awl offices" was an elaborate joke, and that like all underfunded bloggers you guys worked from your filthy apartments. Are you really getting enough CUBE Mobile Device cash to rent Manhattan real estate? Is your office actually inside a CUBE Mobile Device donated by Nissan for that purpose?

Choire Sicha

Let's just say that the "office" is more like a filthy "apartment" that one of us "fled from" and doesn't "sleep in" since his boyfriend lives "nearby."

brianvan
brianvan (#149)

Oh, so it's rent-stabilized!

Tulletilsynet
Tulletilsynet (#333)

No scare quotes around "filthy"? Or are they just Zagation marks? Punked Zagation marks, something ...

The Real JR
The Real JR (#34)

Today, we are all lapsed Catholics in desperate need of penance.

naugahydeandseek

Best advice for troubled souls? "Leggo My Ego."

gumplr
gumplr (#66)

Semper ubi sub ubi.

Tulletilsynet
Tulletilsynet (#333)

[Do you] always where under where? What?

WindowSeat
WindowSeat (#180)

I have many regrets this morning, but the one that stands out is the four cloves of garlic in last night's chard. Urp.

Setec Astrology

I think you can take Roger Angell, Balk. The man's 89 years old.

sigerson
sigerson (#179)

Honestly, Balk, this sounds like a suicide note.

Alex Balk
Alex Balk (#4)

Nah. When that day comes I'll do it on video. When I go, I'm gonna go viral.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

The Awl has OFFICES?!

Rod T
Rod T (#33)

Had I known I was absolved, I wouldn't have apologetically replied to that "HOW COULD YOU" email that I received overnight regarding that "thing" that I "did" which was really quite minor anyway.

Clarence Rosario

I made some decent decisions yesterday (exercise, no booze, early to bed). Can I hang onto this, like a Get Out Of Jail Free card?

BronxWASP
BronxWASP (#415)

I don't have any regrets about yesterday; it was a couple days ago that I need ablution of.

I'll put this one in the bank. And I gave up the cab/bus-ride of shame a LONG TIME AGO!!

zidaane
zidaane (#373)

Are you sure his face wasn't in his hands to more easily summon the image of the way her ass looked as it hovered just above him?

KarenUhOh
KarenUhOh (#19)

Wow. YESTERDAY? Can you spare it?

I'm still trying to get some sort of deal on what happened last year.

#56
#56 (#56)

Next time can we get a sin-with-joy-and-abandon siren as a heads-up? Had I known I would have had a more interesting Monday.

Alex Balk
Alex Balk (#4)

How does the Wednesday after next look for you?

#56
#56 (#56)

I believe I've scheduled my suicide, but I can move things around.

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