Robert Gibbs, press secretary for Barack Obama (and former communications guy, lest we forget, for the 2004 anti-Howard Dean brigade!) took to the TV last night after Obama's speech. But you know what? We couldn't actually see him! This is just further proof that there are no homosexuals involved in the Obama White House. Here is what any sensible gay would tell him.
Two things:
1. Jesus, the glasses. Okay there are these revolutionary things called "contact lenses"? But if you have unprescribable eyes, or you simply like glasses because they give a little structure to what is admittedly a slightly puffy affect, that is fine! But you need to get non-glare glass in those because all we can see of your eyes on TV is studio lights! Hi, do you not have a healthcare plan over there that'll get you a new pair of glasses that aren't basically mirrors?
2. Listen, my white friend, you are SHINY. So you know, after you wash your face? Here is Lancome's Pure Focus T-Gel matte powder gel. It works! It mattes you!
This is 2009! We have science now! Stop being afraid to be presentable on the TV, I could barely listen to you because I was BLINDED.
Also the suit was cute. Much better than what you usually wear. Thanks for that.
Why do these public figure types not have seeing-eye gays?
This soft-focus job is the work of the pinks at MSNBC. On Fox, you could see the horns.
God I hope this posting doesn't cause a run on Lancome's PURE FOCUS T-ZONE MATIFIER because I am almost out of it.
Is this a product-placement post? I am seeing ads for contact lenses by mail -- a different company on each side!
So how do you explain Barney Frank? He always looks so rumpled on the TV.
aw, poor guy.