I am a massive coward when it comes to tooth pain. I give blood regularly, when I was particularly impecunious I sold my plasma, I can deal with most forms of bodily harm. But, Jesus, there's just something about my teeth that turns me into a gigantic frigging child. I haven't been to the dentist in years; God knows what's going on in there. Lately, though, my teeth have started to ache in a way that even I can't ignore. Mostly, I feel it in the mornings, so, thanks to this helpful "G.M.A" clip, I've diagnosed myself as someone who is grinding their teeth because of stress! So all I need to do is unstress and everything will go back to normal! Problem solved, no dental visit needed! Or at least I assume that's what the case is; I couldn't watch the thing all the way through, because once the doctor starts talking about chips and enamel and stuff? Owwww. No way. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it! Okay, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
16
STRONGLY AGREE
In all seriousness, you can buy a ghetto mouthguard at Duane Reade for around $35. It's basically a piece of silicone that you boil to soften it, and then fit it to your mouth. It helped me a good bit when I went through a tooth-grinding phase a few years ago. (Though it gives you--or at least me--God-awful morning breath.)
Yeah, that's just what Balk needs - the humiliation of having to sleep with a mouthguard. Jesus, isn't the man's life hard enough as is?
All that buildup and the payoff is "Enamel does n o t grow back" plus the sexy mental image of a significant other trying to fall asleep to the tune of one's unconscious grinding, of one's teeth. And yet that's one hot teevee dentist. She could drill me weekly.
Opiates before bedtime.
Teeth grinding is last year's hipster grifter.
It's called bruxism, it can wreck your teeth, give you headaches, misalign your jaws and/or bite, etc. I've been doing it since I was like, 17.
So get one of the mouth guards that Setec recommends upthread. problem solved; no scary dentist... yet.
Pretend you're from Ohio, you're taking a break from the stress of the upcoming corn harvest (pause to visualize) by attending Blog Camp Aught-Nine with your host, The Awl. WooHoo! Awesome! Update your Facebook!
Stress gone!
I'm a major grinder :( It's so loud that I've sometimes woken myself up. I've tried to see if I can recreate the noise while awake, and it's TERRIFYING how hard I have to grind to even come close. I tried wearing mouthguards but I grinded/ground so hard that they kept falling off/out. I will lose this battle with myself. I WILL SOON BE TEEFLESS.
Booze before bedtime doesn't help the grinding either. Start drinking earlier, is my advice.
Ah, then you're the man to appreciate this, Balk:
A few years ago I went to the dentist because I was experiencing some pain when eating anything sweet. I figured it was a cavity.
Well turns out I didn't have any cavities. Turns out, I have receding gums, the cause of which the dentist couldn't really pinpoint. But not to fret, there's a treatment.
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS HAVE SOME TISSUE FROM THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH REMOVED AND THEN GRAFTED ONTO MY GUMS. Or, you know, risk losing some teeth, I guess. I've...opted for the latter so far.
I had that done 2 summers ago. It sounds much more frightening than it actually is -- a root canal is FAR more unpleasant an experience -- and there's Vicodin afterwards. The worst part is that unless your dental insurance is better than the Dr. Nick plan that my company offers, this shit will cost you $$$$. Now I must floss.
Ah, then you're the man to appreciate this, Balk:
A few years ago I went to the dentist because I was experiencing some pain when eating anything sweet. I figured it was a cavity.
Well turns out I didn't have any cavities. Turns out, I have receding gums, the cause of which the dentist couldn't really pinpoint. But not to fret, there's a treatment.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOUR SERVER TODAY?
IBMW: My dentist made me the same threat, and I started using toothpicks after every meal--I can't abide with flossing, too nasty--and I never ended up requiring the surgery. Try toothpicks...
My dentist made me a dental thornhill mouthguard that I wear at night and it works great.