It only occurred to me later in life that the lot of a straight man was a terrible one. They think about sex all the time—but so rarely have it. So here is the most recent ridiculous survey about sex (from an alleged 50,000 male readers of men.style.com AskMen.com! (Whoops!)) and it finds that 28% of men have sex less than one time a month! Gah! Haha! Wow! Surprisingly, 87% of men also report being dissatisfied with their sex life. I BET!
Also there is this.
Well right back atcha, dude, with your size 38 Dockers, sittin' at your desk, eating some Chipotle, thinking about Fantasy Football and wondering if you'll ever have sex again.
Once a week is a lot. Every other week is more my speed.
Those who can't do, think.
That fantasy football crack is low, man. This week I've had sex just once, but I did spend two hours on Monday writing an email to my fantasy league to advocate for a switch to keeper rules. It's hard out here for a breeder.
I shouldn't judge! I mean, it's not like I don't like some ridiculous things.
Brah, you should totally join my league!
Pleated dockers, undoubtedly.
Based on the obesity levels in this country, shouldn't question 2 be "would you dump your girlfriend if she became fatter?"?
*nose->coffee
Sooo… Balk's wearing a 38 these days?
You've been a homo too long — size 38 is what they wear before the wedding.
I originally typed "36" then upgraded.
I shouldn't be sizeist!
Hey! 36 leaves a little room for lunch!
I wouldn't dump her. I would simply stop calling or responding to her calls, texts, and slaps to the face.
I think you'd be better off loudly questioning whether she really needs an order of mozarella sticks in front of all her friends.
a little mystery keeps a relationship fresh.
I just drafted Megan Fox for my Fantasy team.
You think this is sad? Wait until they survey the single ladies…the sub-category of "cat ladies" will be downright tragic.
Gonna go kill myself now, brb.
men.style.com? I'd be interested to read the poll results from readers of The Nation. Seriously!
Of course, being straight men they could have just nudged the frequency number downwards in an attempt at some pity poontang. Am I that cynical? Guess so.
If you adjust for rape the frequency in even less.
Yes I'm surprised the survey didn't bother to make the distinction between rape and normal, 'vanilla' sex, as there is a substantial difference between the two.
I'd say hookers are being omitted, but in a recession who has the money for it?
I assume we are discussing the sex lives of men under 40 — please god let us be discussing the sex lives of men under 40. Please. God.
I bet gay dudes play fantasy football, but they are just too embarassed to admit it to their friends.
The fact that sex/dating is expensive and time consuming for the straight man may provide some insight into the low pole (heh) numbers. (It may also be for the gay man, but I have no insight. Which makes me wonder, do you guys split bills, take turns…?)
Say the lady is a 3 date ruler (not my cup of tea, mind you, but there are plenty of ladies who follow that rule, whether they consider themselves to be "traditional" or not). All in, drinks, dinners, cabs, roofies, that's probably $500 (Manhattan figures) and and two weeks of time.
Lesson: Get a hooker.
There is a curve to this. These expenditures are often required to achieve what is known as "Getting It Free." Often, there is a fairly substantial period during which premium value is obtained. This part of a courtship we refer to as "Putting Off Setting A Date."
Once the Ceremony is complete, however, the arc drops precipitously. Charges are reinstated, including a substantial penalty for early withdrawl. We know this as "Subscription To CumFliXXX.Com."
I usually put off putting out because most guys freak out if you give it up too soon. You guys and your double standards are your own worst enemies. So the next time you whine about paying $500 for a hooker, think about maybe not being such a prude.
I have it 7 times a day since I learned hypnosis.
They mean with ANOTHER person, hon.
There needs to be a follow up question for the segment getting it once a week or less about the wonder of having a child in your life and how that (sometimes, even when she's kicking you in the face and farting at 2:00 am) makes not having all that much sex Ok.
Also: If stats say that 2/3 of the population is obese or "overweight" then how can 48% of men say "yes" to "if she got fat????" What they mean is "if she turned into jabba the hutt," right?
Choire: You should check out Dating in the Dark. The men are much more forgiving of appearance than the twats – I mean women on the show.
Well, Nina…you think Fantasy Football is stupid…Throwing stones again?
And the other 1/3 are? ________________
eunuchs and Catholic Priests.
It's purely self interest that 52% of respondents wouldn't break up with their mate if they became fat.
A recent US CDC report says that "one-third of U.S. adults over age 20 are obese and another one-third are considered overweight. Obesity is associated with more than 100,000 U.S. deaths each year. The result of too much government regulation– am sure.
As for those not yet of dating age: In 2008, Hispanic preschoolers reflected an obesity rate of 18.5 percent, compared to 12.6 percent for young white children and 11.8 percent for black children.
Nooooooo! Los poco gorditas!!!!! RUNNNN!