What Is "Missing"? And Is Mark Sanford It?
"It's not true," says South Carolina governor Mark Sanford's spokesman. The governor is not "missing." Though, as everyone is hilariously enjoying, his wife doesn't know where he is, and he skipped out of Father's Day with the kids. So now his spokesman is saying: "Gov. Sanford is taking some time away from the office this week to recharge after the stimulus battle and the legislative session and to work on a couple of projects that have fallen by the wayside." The "stimulus battle" being that thing where the governor refused to take federal money, except when he did. Though he is not crazy that it is a good idea to pay down debt! Even if that is just because he is listening to that communist lesbian Suze Orman.
Maybe he's "going Galt."
Ha! Now with extra raping! (Or is that the other one?)
Even with HD handycams and the current unemployment rate it's pretty hard to put a snuff film togther on such short notice.
He is leading the Republican Party by example! By missing he is, in fact, stepping up and becoming, through absence, the most present GOP figure; a Christ-like trick sure to please the base. He has simultaneously shrunk government (by the size of one small-state governor) and stymied the liberal media. Mark Sanford '012! His name won't be on the ballot but as long as he doesn't get any votes he'll win.
Alternatively but similarly: The Rapture.
More likely: Greyish-green corpse being nibbled by sealife in a tidal estuary near a mob run brothel that doesn't care to extend much credit, even to "governors," in these difficult economic times.
Spartanburg Days Inn South, and someone alert the ASPCA.