Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opens next Wednesday, and a couple of early reviews are in. How is it?
Variety says the movie "takes the franchise to a vastly superior level of artificial intelligence. As for human intelligence, it's primarily at the service of an enhanced arsenal of special effects, which helmer Michael Bay deploys like a general launching his very own shock-and-awe campaign on the senses. Otherwise, little seems new compared to the first installment, except that this version is longer, louder, and perhaps 'more than your eye can meet' in one sitting."
The Hollywood Reporter calls it "a nonstop whirl of flying, battling and crashing machinery.... With its intelligence at the level of the simple-minded, however, the film is not likely to attract moviegoers who seek something more than a screen filled with kaleidoscopes of colored metal. Fan boys will no doubt love it, but for the uninitiated it's loud, tedious and, at 147 minutes, way too long."
On the other hand they add that co-star Megan Fox "has little to do except look great in a tank top and tight jeans while running in slow motion through flying sand," so maybe it's worth a little low-frequency hearing damage.
This is all one needs to know: "A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act ... an especially massive mechanoid comprised of several construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to the peak of a pyramid. As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot tilts up to its mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling down."
This one promises 20% more candy-coated fascism than the first.
Especially at 147 minutes. Holy crap, that's a lot of fascism.
I watched the ultra-cheesy Transformers cartoon pretty faithfully in the 80s, but have had exactly zero contact with the franchise since then, and managed to avoid the first movie pretty definitively. So when I saw the preview for this one in the movies last month I was kind of shocked that HOLY SHIT IT WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING. I actually thought it was an elaborate exercize in seeing how the basic elements of the show would work totally differently in a different context, as it struck me as all like "Hey, remember how you were a kid and you thought it would be cool if there were cars and airplanes that turned into robots? Well, it wouldn't, because they'll be THIRTY FEET TALL and made of METAL WITH EXTREMELY SHARP EDGES and will be at a TOTALLY INHUMAN SCALE and will FUCK SHIT UP." The fact that the Decepticons (I assume they were Deciptecons) made only inscrutable robot-sounds, rather than screeching effeminately at each other as was their habit in the cartoon, just made it all the creepier.
yeah, it would be that if you the action wasn't so awfully produced, designed, shot, orchestrated, and cut so that you can't actually tell which robot is which or what is going on. the first one was a visual and aural cacophony, entirely unintelligible, and i wish i could un-see it. unfortunately, there are something you cannot un-see.