Forbes' Elisabeth Eaves looks at the bright side of These Troubled Times: "OMG you guys how good is this recession? I mean, it sucks if you don't have, like, money or a job or anything, but I totally just refi'd the mortgage on my place and it's like banks are trying to GIVE me money. Plus, it is totally time to shop. Not just on apartments either! Those bitches behind the counters at fancy clothes stores and those preening 'mos in restaurants could not pretend to be more thrilled to see you! And, like, even if you do lose your job, did you really want to to be doing it in the first place? I mean, obvs, I've still got my gig, but if you've just lost yours you should think of it as a total opportunity to do whatever it was you always wanted to do before you had to worry about money and stuff, which I guess you no longer have to do or else I wouldn't be making this suggestion. And, sure, the city's going to get a little bit dirtier, but think of how much creative excitement there's going to be? I mean, whatevs, okay, you get mugged, but if you're poor anyway how much can they really take from you? Seriously, how brills is this whole terrible economy you guys? BEST RECESSION EVER!"
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
18
This recession is great; I got to read all the pertinent points of Ms. Eaves column without ever having to click through to her employer's site.
In my neighborhood, the number of empty storefronts has crept upward over the last six months. I wonder if I should be alarmed. It's eerie, but also suggests a neighborhood on pause, taking a breath before chugging along in some new direction.
I got your new direction right here.
She calls it a purifying fire and then spends the rest of the article talkng about all the things one can buy.
The visionary grasps that there is no more lucrative time to have a lot of liquidity. The rest of us will settle for grasping a lot of liquids.
Related: LIIIIIIINKBAAAAAAAAAIT!!!
bitch
The term "feminist stripper" may be ironic, but it's "not an oxymoron," journalist Eaves explains, as she looks back on her own experiences working naked. In 1996, Eaves was in serious debt, dreaming of graduate school but unable to make house payments with her boyfriend, whom she no longer wanted to marry. She could keep working temp jobs or try stripping, which she knew paid more, although she didn't know what to think about it. Had these women "found a sort of freedom" she lacked? Peep show dancing was a revelation; it gave her control, as it was her body that had the power to give men the sexual release they desperately craved. While this sexual power was "exhilarating," it left Eaves somewhat "disappointed," confirming some of her low expectations of men.
God, why do people bother with journalism degrees and grad school if they're just going to say the same shit everyone else has said?
It must burn to see a Diablo Cody bank on that shit.
so totes cool...my cat and I are bonding by eating the same food. How great is that?
Shopping is exciting; shoplifting is exhilarating. You should try it.
This young lady is a former stripper.
She is also Canadian.
One of her pieces is titled "Abolish the Marriage License".
I am officially in lust.
As a recently WTFbooted hedge fund person who just secured investors and financing for my own fund, my answer to your tongue-in-cheek critique is: isn't this what you two assholes are doing with this website? You're doing what you love without the Denton-like overlords breathing down your necks, hoping to cash in enough to be ass-deep in pretty shoes, fast cars and, well, ass.
Yeah, it's a risk - but you know it was high time you took one, and for a lot of us, this recession is just the thing to keep our expectations low, our belt cinched tight, and our "Got Nothing, Got Nothing To Lose Shirt" clan and pressed.
Did I mention she's hot?
She starts out that way but then focuses on....shopping. For less. Which she believes constitutes liberation. Opportunity missed.
Her cheeks bones send me into a recession. I think you know what I'm really sayin.
"We may be in for more crime and grime, but also more breathing room as some of the hype and waste goes up in flame."
She's just BEGGING to get jacked, isn't she?
In my neighborhood, the number of feral children eating the fire-crisped flesh of babies has crept upwards in the past six months. I wonder if I should be alarmed. It's eerie, but also suggests a neighborhood on pause, taking a breath before chugging along in some new direction.
Up here in East Harlem, this great argentinian steakhouse closed right about the time some dumpy Subway restaurant opened right down the road from it, leading me to believe we're just as fucked as ever.
That new direction is probably an increase in the number of feral adolescents eating the fire-crisped flesh of feral children.