June 8, 2009

The iPhone Is Getting Grosser, Stupid-Making-er

by Choire posted @2:20 PM

BLINKY BLINKY PAY ATTENTIONI can't stress enough how upsetting I find the near-future of telephone technology. I'm watching the Apple presentation today and basically the iPhone is not-so-slowly morphing into a blinky box of stupid dystopian that handshakes and checks your blood sugar and texts you when LeBron James pees. I've always been torn between "delightful amazing tool!" and "debilitating waste of time!" But now I think where this is going is: it will fuck up an entire generation. Let's hope there's no app to track sea level rise, so they're all taken by surprise when their iPhones are PERMANENTLY UNDERWATER.

 
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21 Comments / Post a new comment

  1. olmucky [#542]

    Eh, if it wasn't the iPhone, I'm sure something else – chrome pants, or Soulja Boy – woulda fucked up that generation, anyway.

  2. BlinkyMcChuck [#202]

    Mwahahahaha….I am living for that moment actually.

  3. dweeb [#437]

    For this afternoon's performance, the part of Choire Sicha will be played by George Will.

  4. clarencerosario [#134]

    Twitter beat the iPhone to it already.

  5. Dickdogfood [#650]

    Cellphones already ruined this generation, making them terrified and resentful of any part of the world not connected to them info-umbilically 24/7, so I'm not sure there's anything left to ruin. (nb: It's entirely possible I will die without ever owning a cell.)

  6. KarenUhOh [#19]

    Planned Obsolescence will run you $2.99 a month.

  7. rod_townsend [#33]

    A line was crossed when I installed the Grindr app. I mean, knowing that "Frank" a 27-year old latino, 5'11", 170# is 417 feet from me somewhere? Also on Grindr with the same dirty intentions and a picture that is making me crazy? And texting me, knowing my proximity and demographics and visual impact?

    It is simply too easy to live my life.

  8. David Cho [#3]

    Best App: ZipCar app that lets you honk and lock/unlock your car.

    ZOMG

  9. afarerkind [#379]

    Remember when people used to use the term CrackBerry? That was nice. We recognized then that there was something wrong with those behaviors.

  10. creativity_zero [#71]

    You should see what it'll do to you after mussels frites and a bottle of wine at Les Halles.

 

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