Back in February my next door neighbor died. She lived alone, and the police discovered her body when a worried co-worker called because she hadn't turned up for a few days. It was a valuable lesson in the transitory nature of life and how vulnerable single New Yorkers, particularly those getting on in years, are to being forgotten. It was also a valuable lesson in how slowly the New York State probate system works when someone dies without an immediate survivor; it's now June and the police still haven't unsealed the apartment. As you can imagine, the warm weather has brought with it some incredible smells!
But that's not all the coming of summer has gifted me with. The smell, while indeed terrible, is something you notice only briefly as you pass by in the hallway. There is another issue: Unfortunately, when they removed my neighbor's body, they did not remove any of the food that was in her refrigerator. I'm assuming Con Ed has turned off the power in the place and the smell of rotting comestibles has attracted the local rodent population, because I've spent the last two weeks enduring an infestation of vermin. I have trapped, no exaggeration, twenty-two mice thus far, and that total does not include the number who have died behind the radiator and will no doubt only make their presence known once the mercury rises above ninety degrees.
I spent a couple of hours today waiting for the exterminator to come. He patched a couple things up, put some poison down, sprayed where he needed to spray, etc. Hopefully that'll put and end to things, but I know for the next few months I will have the persistent sensation that I've just seen something skitter across the floor out of the corner of my eye. This is a condition for which there oughta be a German word!
Have you noticed a condition, literary or real-life, that lacks and requires a handy German word? Let us know!
Previously: Unlikely metaphors
Oh man, please tell me you've sewn little sequined outfits for the rats and trained them into some kind of teensy circus routine, complete with a little mouse-size unicycle and waitasecond this isn't my coffee, I've been drinking Pledge all morning. Shit.
Hartnäckigkleinemontaukfurcht
Also that's disgusting and sad.
Ratwurst.
Micenacht?
mausbetunkengesehen
[sound of Art Spiegelman slapping forehead]
HA!
Hmm.. My mom's been gone herself many years, but she worked for the city and was a fixer for friends, relatives and enemies. If your neighbor's house is a health hazard to the rest of you, the Board of Health or somebody probably can do something. Call 311, repeatedly (I've learned,in my city to a similar service, 20 calls in a day to the various operators just might get attention.)
Or maybe just call Doree?
´scuse me. I have to have a few more sets of keys made for my house. You never know.
I am buy non slip rug pads at lunch so I won't slip on my bathroom rugs. That and tripping over electric cords will haunt me in my dotage.
This sounds like a graphic novel Ben Katchor and Art Spiegelman should collaborate on.
I think simply mausgesehen would cover it, just as long as you're fairly sure it was a mouse you saw, und nicht ein mausdoppelganger.
ichglaubeichhabeneinenriesigenroachgesehen
peripherischeMaus-Sieht
They make these things called cats. Ask Choire how they work.
Lord, we were typing the same thought at the same time. There ought to be a German word for that.
Jinx
I presume Choire's cat is too damn lazy to care of this problem for you?
P.S. I just got spell-checked on "Choire's". I can't believe that hasn't already been added to the Google Chrome dictionary.
BringenChoireKatOverer
Next time, refresh - then submit.
Your's is funnier.
What Tuna said.
People, if Choire's cat needs pills and shit, he doesn't sound healthy enough to chase and eat 22+ mice, right?
(Really I'd like an update on the health and wellbeing of Cat Sicha.)
I repeat: call this Board of Health. This is considered a hazard. And speaking from the experience of friends, there are some NYC rats that will take out a cat like it was a science-project hamster.
Um, holy crap YES. This shoulda been done ages ago!
Choirestallnacht?
(BTW Phantomschädlingesyndrom)
The word you're looking for, Balk, is "Maus." As in, "you are their giant Nazi-Cat Tormentor."
Nachbartotvergessenmauskommenquatsch.
they're not vermin, they're a delicious food source.
Krystal Methamphetishatzen Overdhozen
Now can we discuss your use of the elegant word "comestibles".
Once again you caught my breath.
I have trapped, no exaggeration, twenty-two mice thus far
And you, no doubt, screamed like a little bitch each and every time.
Balk, what you describe is obviously the soul of a dead rent collecter. So look no further for a hypothetical German word. There is a real one. You have encountered the Weltratte. --
In folklore, the much better-attested Welthund is a mean one-eyed dog, an undead being who wanders the countryside eternally in punishment for the misdeeds of his former life, when he was a greedy landlord who harrassed peasants with excessive and untimely demands for their in-kind rents. The Weltratte is the urban cousin of the Welthund.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejyNm4BaVVk
Video of Balk in his apartment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNJoWq2ots8
Balk can also expect a plague of frogs, lice, flies, dying livestock, unhealable boils, hail mixed with fire, locusts, and darkness if he does not make good on his word and hail the achievement of 10,000 Foxymorons on the front page.