News Blender: Obamas' Broadway Excursion, Octomom, Swine Flu At Vogue

We don't always cover every story that happens during each day's news cycle, so here's a capsule summary of recent events: President Obama was criticized for wasting taxpayer money by taking his wife Michelle to New York over the weekend; the First Couple had dinner at popular downtown restaurant Blue Hill before journeying up to Broadway, where they nationalized the theater industry. "Let me be clear," said the president, "a nation which created Carousel and Camelot cannot stand idly by while atrocities like Jersey Boys or Rock of Ages pollute our cultural marketplace week after week." Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, in Beijing, assured the Chinese government that the American dollar remained a safe investment and begged "please don't break my thumbs." The Minnesota Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case of the disputed November senate race; the court is expected to rule in favor of Kris Allen within the next two weeks. Syracuse's S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications announced that it would present its lifetime achievement award to Susan Boyle for providing the news industry with thousands of opportunities to write articles which all say essentially the same thing. Conde Nast's revelation that an employee had contracted the swine flu brought a brief moment of confusion to Vogue staffers as they tried to figure out whether the virus "makes you, like, thinner or what." Nadya Suleman, better known as "the wise Latina woman," agreed to star in a reality show produced by a Netherlands-based company which apparently has no idea about how short American attention spans really are. The Earth continued to revolve around the sun.