"Over time, sitting for long stretches weakens your core-the muscles that should hold you upright-and leads to far too much pressure on your back muscles... I had one-on-one lessons with Madonna's Pilates instructor in London...I do Pilates sessions twice a week and ride my horse twice a week (horse riding is excellent for strengthening the core, legs, and arms.) I never sit at the computer for more than 30 minutes without standing up and stretching. I have hired an assistant who types while I dictate."
Monday, June 29, 2009
14
My horse has to do the typing, too.
Trollope's solution to this problem was to glue himself to his chair.
As a city dweller who doesn't have a horse handy, much less twice a week, who or what do you recommend I ride? I sit before a computer at least 10 hours a day and could go hours without stretching. Also, I'm the assistant who has to sit unmoving to type what she dictates. Anything for her core.
Times are tough. This year's typing assistant did not have an Ivy doctorate; Plum had to settle for a Penn State B.A.
Will she hire me to sit and eat her meal at those endless social gatherings like the Met Costume Institute Ball? Oh, and I swallow, too.
Yes, but do you later go to the bathroom to purge for her as well? Obvious you're one of those bad assistants that piles the calories on. Fatty-By-Proxy!
Also, seriously: am I the only person who finds it impossible to write by dictation? I just can't do it. That's why all my assistants get fired.
I can't do it, either. Much to my (old-school lawyer) boss's chagrin. He tells me I need to be able to formulate my thoughts in my head.
I call him an old man.
(Also I bought him a digital dictaphone for Christmas about 4 years ago and he still hasn't figured out how to use it!)
Did anyone see that Russel Crowe film "Something of Something" (not fat journo, but fat CIA guy)? Anyway in the beginning he is dictating to this incredible voice recognition software and it made me want it so bad. I can't write by dictation either but just imagine having a running transcript of your alone-at-home rants, such as yelling at the guests on NPR's Fresh Air.. (hypothetical)
I officially request of the Workmen's Compensation Board authorization for the patient to have use of a Horse two times per week. This treatment is medically necessary due to the increasing symptoms of back pain due to injuries incurred at work.
^ This is the sort of all-day typing that is necessitating the use of a Horse for yours truly.
Yes, and, conveniently, when one's made quadriplegic by falling off a horse those back muscles aren't so pesky.
"I have hired an assistant who types while I dictate."
This is the 21st century version of "My husband has a mistress so I don't have to perform fellatio".
I didn't know that Plum Sykes wrote the old "Underminer" column on Gawker!!
What's with the Skeletor pic?