So I was walking up 1st Avenue this afternoon...and OH MY GOD IT IS DISGUSTING OUT THERE. I don't know what it's like wherever you are, but here in New York the humidity sticks to you like a mouse sticks to a glue trap. This is a serious problem if you are, say, a particularly hirsute gentleman who refuses to wear shorts and is carrying too many extra pounds around with him. My back hair is soaked and mottled, and there's a huge stain of sweat on the top of my pants from my overhanging gut. It made me think of all the terrible things that happen to people in the world, which made me reflective and sad, because no one suffers like I do. Anyway, seriously, it is gross outside. I am camping out in front of the A/C with a mess of bourbon and a tube of Pringles for the rest of the day.
Ah! Can't wait for August. On the F platform.
F stands for "Fuckin' fragrant in august."
Since when do you take the F train????
I meant that for Clarence. Who appears to have moved to my nabe (via Waksler) and not notified me. As he knows full well is required.
Ahem. I am waiting.
Shhhhh! Not there yet.
Wow...Balk. I really had a different idea of yer whole look. Not that there is anything wrong with back hair ...we just dont talk about it out loud...although I fell back in love you and your bourbon swilling pringles pounding ass by the end of the post.
You can't pick and choose, all "I love your Pringles but not your back hair." Love Balk for all of Balk!
"tube of Pringles for the rest of the day".
Too much time....try "tube of Pringles for the next 20 minutes".
Not that I'm speaking from personal experience.
"There’s a huge stain of sweat on the top of my pants from my overhanging gut"
Yeah, it would have been less gross to just pretend you peed yourself.
Alright Bear community, he's all yours. I wash my hands of this man, as adorable as he may have looked in that photo with Froehlich.
If you're really that hot, take a pair of jeans (light-wash preferred), cut off the legs right below the back pockets, wash them a few times to get that nice fringe, put them on with a white tank top (or go sans tank if you don't have moobs) and see if that helps.
You must have missed the shorts debate.
I was fervently anti-shorts. However, this post made me change my mind. Nasty, nasty stuff.
shorts = bad.
I used to basically be afraid to wear shorts, but, really, no one actually thinks they look good in them.
Like sunglasses. It's just practical.
You should use this post in your next Online Dating Profile!
Honey, as long as your knuckles don't drag on the floor,
lots of us will adore you, back hair and all.
Plus, you have AC.
How much is a 'mess of bourbon'? Anywhere near 'a dram'? Is there a particular flavor of Pringles that sits well with, say, Maker's Mark? I'm having a roof party tonight.
I think "damp orifices" should be theAwl's "perverse and often baffling."
Just testing this out: Washington D.C. has more gastroenterologists per capita than any other city in the country, but in a reflection of the damp and often orifices of the health care profession, it simultaneously has the highest doctor's fees in the country.
What, no scratch n' sniff? I bet the technology exists... you just have to want it badly enough.
Or maybe this is just some new Cho-inspired effort to get anti-perspirant sponsorship, in which case, I applaud this dry (and ingenious) idea.
I guess this is as close as I'm going to get to porn about those fucking sweaters. Sigh.
I think it's more of a bid for bourbon sponsorship. I am Jim Beam drinker myself in case you are targeting any particular distiller.
I mean really, isn't this the perfect place for a "FUCKING SWEATERS" tag? If not here, where?!?
Those aren't Pringles. They're dress shields.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder
yes, that. OR he's desperately trying to shake some admirers. it's hard to be a sex symbol.
I dont follow....(do i look fat in this post?)
Massive...FAIL!
Alex, I think you're missing the point of living in New York completely. I can accomplish ALL of that for 1/10 the rent.
Who know who ostentatiously refuses to wear shorts? THEMS THAT DON'T GOTS THE LEGS FOR 'EM, THAT'S WHO!
My gams, as it happens, are totally shorts-friendly.
I WANT TO BE YOUR LIFE COACH.
*shudder*
Is this your idea of foreplay?
Silly, It's the even numbered avenues that have AC. 12th ave is breezy, cool and fragrant of pancake batter.
Thank you, shovel ready economy!
Funk and (self) Loathing in the Village...
I was getting a little turned on until I came to the part about your overhanging gut. bourbon+Pringles= fat, Balk. Maybe just stick with the bourbon for the summer? ...meh
De gustibus non dis pudenda est
^@Fey ^
Damp oriface role call? Anyone? Anyone?
^ Freudian typos^
Balk here is being on the real about the weight of Time and Gravity on the body on a hot summers day, as well as the existential consolations of Bourbon and snack.