Friday, June 12th, 2009

Asswiping: Now So Easy Even A Fat Guy Can Do It!

If you haven't seen this yet, you probably still have a small bit of faith in humanity left. I remember when I was once like you! (Better: "The next time I'm tempted to eat fast food or something, I'm going to remember that nothing tastes as good as being able to wipe your own ass feels.")

23 Comments / Post A Comment

atipofthehat (#797)

Wait, is that Ms. Prejean again?

Hobbesian (#255)

No, this is the kind of work you get when even NOM doesn't think you're a very good actor.

atipofthehat (#797)

I am doing this

mathnet (#27)

Among things so gross and stupid I don't know where to begin, it's #1. Also #2!

Hobbesian (#255)

"Comfort Wipe: The #1 Solution For Your #2 Problem!"

mathnet (#27)

No shit–that's good!

Oh sheet. Tanks for that memory.

TheWorstJonas (#863)

Sometimes a ShamWow alone doesn't cut it.

Abe Sauer (#148)

what are the certain advantages of "being a big guy" of which the big guy speaks (besides the obvious being able to 'skip pesky nutritional info labels')? Also" My friends in the medical field would NOT be surprised by this at all. They now regularly need 2 docs in the OR to perform a standard c-section because of the difficulty of cutting down through 8 to 14 inches of subcutaneous fat.

Two airline seats for the price of one!

Flashman (#418)

The market segment for this implement seems to be those too corpulent, or "plus size", to otherwise be able to reach down there.
Plus women too shy to go in to Anne Summers or wherever and buy a proper sex toy.

wiilliiaamm (#225)

In one of my incarnations as a member of the workforce–I had a job doing PR for consumer products. One of our best-sellers was something for the morbidly obese in the bathroom–it was called; "The Bottom Buddy". Pretty much the exact same tool–for the exact same job.

The tool never really rose to the mass popularity of say a "Snuggy"–However the term "Bottom Buddy" did see a surge of poopularity on Craigslist after 2am in most american cities.

This is why I intend to stay flexible.

buffalum (#874)

This really makes me pine for the golden days of toilet paper innovation, back in the 1880s. The halcyon days of asswipery, those were.

"Watson, come quickly! I need you …

I'm in the W.C. Bring the toilet paper I just invented."

fiveoneeight (#872)

As seen on TV and, presumably, in your local Old Country Buffet.

davidwatts (#72)

I can't imagine a better way to lose your dignity.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Lifestyles: Snugger Fit

Hez (#147)

SNL should do a "Just For Men"-inspired ad for this with two dudes watching a fat-armed stankass guy get turned down by some ladies waving their noses, and then losing them to a buff dude with full arm-to-ass extension.

The tagline could be "No shit for Mister Fit."

KarenUhOh (#19)

Are you auditioning for the next ad?

surlybastard (#665)

Whenever I see a commercial for something like this, I always wonder how the conversation between the actors and their agents went down.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Does it come in a Lawyer Size?

KarenUhOh (#19)

I'm sorry, but I'm fascinated by this, and have a follow-up: What happened in the 1880's??

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