This day is SO NOT HAPPENING FOR ME.
The Supreme Court ruled that former Attorney General John Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Mueller cannot be sued by a Pakistani man who was detained in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks because they did not actually kick him in the stomach or drag him across the ground themselves The Court also announced that it will review the appeal of convicted swindler Conrad Black. Finally, a recent Fox News poll suggests that one in six Americans thinks Oprah Winfrey would make a good replacement for Justice Souter. If you can think of some amusing way to connect all three of these items you can have my job.
They all know Kevin Bacon, doy.
What Would Oprah Have Done?
A recent Fox News poll suggests that one in six Americans thinks Oprah Winfrey would make a good replacement for Justice Souter. How would two recent actions by the Supreme Court have differed if Oprah was already a Justice?
First, the ruling that former Attorney General John Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Mueller cannot be sued by a Pakistani man who was detained in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks because they did not actually kick him in the stomach or drag him across the ground himself would likely have been different. Oprah's recent experiences with the sexual harassment scandals in her South African school have surely taught her that even if abuse is carried out by employees, the public rightfully understands that the buck stops with her. If Oprah can take responsibility for that, she surely would have required John Ashcroft to do the same.
And what about the Court's decision to review the appeal of convicted swindler Conrad Black? Oprah's treatment of James Frey seems to indicate that she comes down hard on swindlers and con artists, but recent reports that she has forgiven him may indicate Oprah's openness to redemption and rehabilitation. It's hard to say how she might come out on the Black case, but she may inject into the court some of this judicial empathy we've been hearing so much about of late.
Oprah is black, Conrad is named Black, and he is in prison, where Ashcroft and Mueller belong.
Black … black …Ashy … 20 acres and a Muel …
REVELATION: I don't want your job.
Black. Black. Pak.
What is people who have never been in my kitchen.
What about the time Oprah broke in and stole your bundt cake?
Was that the one with the streusel swirl?
She realized she made a mistake and put it back.
She realized it had carbs and returned it.
But! She was totally there.
What's up with the random media links? USAToday for a SCOTUS article? Then Reuters for the Conrad Black story and finally NPR on the Oprah/Souter poll.