Ah, to be young, listless and flacked. Behold the June Vanity Fair, which delivers a breathless inventory of the members of the heirs-and-heiresses set, who have squarely faced the challenge of "populist, economically perilous 2009" by rolling up their sleeves, spitting on their soft, bejeweled hands and getting down to work. As Bob Colacello marvels, these plucky young scions are "expanding the family business... striking out independently, launching a career in the arts... plunging into philanthropy."

Not that they need to, of course. After all, they're not just possessed of "a 24-karat pedigree and inherited wealth"-but they're beautiful, as well. That's the clear message of not only the feature's cheerfully Darwinian "Heredity" column heading, but also the 29-entry photo gallery by Bruce Weber. Just check out the lovely and the Honorable Sophia Fermor-Hesketh, who appears to have taken on two jobs, as a Cyndi Lauper impersonator, and the marketer of the world's first graffiti-applying skateboard.. Or Comtesse Bianca Brandolini d'Adda, toiling away as a product-tester for inflatable pool devices. And look, there's the Comtesse's beau, Fiat heir-pardon me, "creative entrepreneur"-Lap Elkann, showcasing the newest accessory of his product line: the foot-operated doors, which are indispensable in literalizing the Fiat's double duty as phallic symbol.

I jest, of course. As Colacello takes great pains to relate, the leading lights of the new millennial upper crust are positively infatuated with the curse of Adam. This is not your father's gilded aristocracy! Oh, wait, no-actually it sort of is. "I always thought, Will I go into the business or will I not go into the business?" explains junior real-estate baron and New York Observer publisher Jared Kushner, whose tax-evading dad Charles was thrown into the hoosegow for a very awkward year. "But when my father got arrested, I really didn't have a choice. I was the oldest son, and it was something that had to be done." Small wonder that Jared's pictured beside a portrait of that other self-sacrificing Prince Hal of an eldest son (after his brother Joe Jr. died in World War II), JFK-the edition of the Observer ominously unread on his reclining lap as he ponders the greater things Fortuna has in store for him. Jared's fellow real-estate heir (and love interest) Ivanka Trump reports similar plans to extend her dad's Latifundia. Yet, Colacello marvels, "she spent a year working at another real-estate firm in order to prove herself to herself, without 'the eyes of the world bearing down on me.'" Well, that would explain her distinctly hunted-looking mien on the mean streets of Manhattan:

In the old order, of course, acceding to inherited real-estate titanhood, dabbling in the arts or philanthropy, having the odd band or movie project, was what the overclass called "hobbies"-pursuits that staved off leisured boredom, helped one work through daddy issues, or got one laid. No longer. "Today's gilded youth have their work cut out for them," coos Colacello, "and they know it." "I expect myself to achieve extraordinarily highly because I have been given this chance in life," reports Mercedes-Benz heir Alex Flick, who dropped out of college and made The Magnolia Curtain, "a documentary about one of the poorest towns in South Carolina." His rebellious streak appears to have mellowed a bit, though: "Alex is taking photographs for a book about art collectors that his cousin Princess Elisabeth von Thurn und Taxis is writing."

Besides, it's not all privilege and fun, you know. "It was definitely a handful growing up," reports actor-cum-oil-heir Armie Hammer, who has recently joined the Village-of-the-Damned retinue of "Gossip Girl." The thing is, inattentive playmates can totally mistake the basis of your family fortune! "Kids are so cruel. My nickname was baking soda. I was like, 'You guys don't get it. I don't have anything to do with Arm & Hammer baking soda.'"

But it turns out there are upsides to this whole work thing. Take Dasha Zhukova "who founded the Garage Center for Contemporary Culture, in Moscow, and is editor in chief of Pop magazine." Why, our correspondent asks, "would the daughter of an oligarch who is dating an even bigger oligarch [Roman Abramovich], give up a life of leisure to work so hard?" "I still have a life of leisure," she says. "I don't see it as sacrificing."

That's the spirit-Pop Macht Frei! Also, just consider the collateral cultural payoffs when a young heir sidles up to a workstation. "United Arab emirates oil-and-gas heir Badr Jafar uses his family's business as a basis for forays into the creative sphere," Colacello writes. How so, exactly? "A day can be filled with oil and gas in the morning, ports and aviation in the afternoon," recounts our on-the-go young energy baron. "And then fashion and conference calls to L.A. about the entertainment business. It's all about bridging the cultural gaps between the Middle East and the West." Yes, we all recall the tragic consequences that ensue when Western lords of fashion and entertainment fail to comprehend the mores of the Middle East

One thing's for sure: None of our brave new obscenely privileged entrepreneurs is about to abandon the true family business-strategic assortative mating. "My dream is to continue building on the foundation my father and his father built through the Trump Organization," Ivanka reports, perhaps envisioning a fruitful career of issuing pardons to exhibitionist, homophobic beauty queens-"and hopefully have my kids do the same." Yes, if all goes to plan, a new breed of Kennedy aspiring Kushner kids are going to be seizing the mantle of landed Manhattan power. Talk about your curse of Adam.

Previously: The Survivor's Guide For The Affluent Idiot, Understanding How Obama Is Not Robbing The Rich For His Scary Social Agenda, On "The Rage Of The Rich"