Joseph Alois Ratzinger-also known as "Joey The Hat," "Benny 10-6," and "The Pope"-is facing criticism from Israelis who are bothered by a speech he gave yesterday at Yad Vashem, the country's national Holocaust memorial. The Israelis are upset that the Pope did not apologize for the Catholic Church's role during the genocide.

"Something was missing," said Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau. "There was no mention of the Germans or the Nazis who participated in the butchery, nor a word of regret. If not an apology, then an expression of remorse."

"He can't mention everything every time he speaks," responded Vatican spokesman Rev. Federico Lombardi, although one assumes that if you are going to mention the Germans and the Nazis, a Holocaust memorial is probably one of the more likely places to do so. Lombardi also addressed a controversial aspect of Benedict's past, saying, "The pope was never in the Hitler Youth, never, never, never," a statement which contradicts the Pope's own 1996 admission that he had, in fact, joined Hitler Youth, albeit compulsorily. (Jeez, what is it with the Germans and compulsion? They're always giving orders! "Join Hitler Youth!" "Go take a shower!" "Be soap!")

The question of Ratzinger's membership in Hitler Youth has dogged him for years; attempts by the Vatican to obfuscate the issue are not going to change any minds at this point, particularly when you've got the Holy Father showing up at a Holocaust memorial and neglecting to offer even an "ooops, our bad." Can't we get some kind of final judgment on this? Now we're not saying the Pope was some kind of Nazi criminal who should be kidnapped by Israeli commandos and brought to Jerusalem for trial, but, you know, as long as he's already there...