Scandal in the world of British academia, as "Ruth Padel, the first woman elected Oxford's professor of poetry, has resigned following claims she tipped off journalists about allegations that her chief rival for the post, Derek Walcott, had sexually harassed students." The move comes after Padel initially denied involvement and offered vocal support for Walcott, who pulled out of the competition when the longstanding allegations reemerged shortly before the decision was to be made. This story has it all: academic infighting, accusations of sexual harassment, complaints of sexism in the response to the revelation of Padel's role in the process; Davids Mamet and Lodge are probably both staring at their keyboards right now and thinking, "Winner!" Either way, we hope Oxford picks Clive James for the post. Just because we love Clive James.