Hey, it's another one of those patented Alex Balk Metropolitan Diaries! This one is even less relevant and more disgustingly sentimental than previous, if such a thing is possible, so if that's gonna gross you out go watch the premature ejaculation ad again instead. Anyway.
I was ambling over to The Awl offices this morning when I passed a father and son standing in front of what I assume is their apartment building. The kid must have been around 7 or 8; the dad was locking his Razor Scooter-or whatever the hell kids ride these days-into its upright position. I walked by briefly, but from the quick bit of conversation I overheard it was clear that the kid had begged to be able to ride it to school by himself and this was the first time he was being so allowed. His father was telling him that he should just ride normally and he'd be following behind.
"But what if there's a big crowd and you can't see me?" asked the son.
"You just know that I will never be too far behind you and I will always have my eyes on exactly where you are."
I was at the other end of the street by then, but it seemed to have put the kid at ease, and as I looked over my shoulder I saw him riding down the block, his father trailing behind. It was a sweet moment, and I guess that's why I'm sharing it. I thought about that line a little more as I continued my walk:
"You just know that I will never be too far behind you and I will always have my eyes on exactly where you are."
I'm not sure, but I imagine that's how some people feel about God. I guess I can understand the appeal.
I like the kind with wings for those heavy flow days. Which do you prefer?
I dunno, it seems like they all chafe.
So God is a creepy stalker? Just as I thought.
I hope you're one of the five people I meet in Heaven.
Jesus Christ--I was sure you were about to tell us he'd been hit by a car.
See? It's all about subverting expectations.
They both say 2:23 so I can't tell who you like more--me or Wook.
Don't Look Back.
Father and son issues always make me wish I had a soul.
Is this a scene from The Road II?
In the overshare category, let me share with the world that you made a cameo in my dream last night. I was at a bar and you were sitting at the table next to me and I leaned over and asked you what the book you are writing is about. Then, as soon as you started to answer, my friend Alison interrupted you and you left. After some reflect this morning it is clear Alison is my underminer (and may be your's as well). Also, I read the internet too much.
Yeah, that wasn't Alex. You were in the Yukon and that was a Yeti.
That makes more sense. Because on further reflection I might just be a stalker. Good thing I'm too lazy to actually follow someone around the city.
When I try to envison God (which I often do), He always appears in the mind's eye as a trimmer version of Santa Claus clad in a toga. It must be because he's ancient. And he's always leaning against a cloud, watching shit. Like old ladies in the projects by their windows. I have to say that The thought of such a man, toga-clad, leaning against the sky, fixated on the movements of little boys cannot be properly construed as anything other than creepy. That's why I ditched the whole God Game.
All I get from this is that Balk needs a razor.
Okay, and then you drank a lotta bourbon and smoked a bunch of cigarettes, right? I need something to hold onto here...
I blame Obama.
And when there was only one Razor trail in the sand...
Are you sure you're not confusing God with Jesus? Actually, was his name Jesus?
The trouble for us believer-types is, we can't forget how God the Father treated His own son... "Don't worry, son: I've always got my eye on you, even while you're being nailed to a tree and crying out to heaven asking why I've abandoned you." God - comforting AND terrifying!
Perfect. Balk, you're about the only thing, apart from my beloved nephew, that makes me want to move back to NYC.
O, and by the way, Barcelona Football Club won the Champions League. If you care, yea. If not, go away. (YEAH MESSI, PUJOL, ETO'O...) ok, I'm over it.
I'm usually down with your overshares, but this one would not have been out of place in Reader's Digest.
But I'm a soulless atheist, so I'm a little biased.
*wipes away tear* okay, that's about as much schmaltz as I can handle. Sweet.
On the way in tomorrow- stop by a PETCO and squeeze a hampster real tight untill the stress goes away. You'll feel better after.
Um, this was how the enduring nature of friendship was defined once on Sex and the City (when Miranda followed Charlotte home without talking to her in the episode when M finds out she's pregnant and C finds out she's not).
I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin' (that I've watched a lot of Sex and the City in my time)
The "Paul Blart Mall Cop" ads above? Business side/edit side synergy at its most poignant.
I was sure the kid was going to turn around to see the dad had fallen asleep listening to Philip Glass' "Satyagraha". So much for leitmotif.
I am a soulless atheist, but I am also a mother, so I liked this post a lot. Reading it reminded me of conversations with my oldest daughter, and how important it is for her to know that I've got her back.