Choire-

I'm a little jealous of anyone who lives in a parliamentary democracy; the way their governments can fall at any time lends a certain frisson to the spectacle of the party in power coming apart at the seams. In contrast, our fixed-date elections generally ensure that even when the current administration has completely collapsed you're still stuck with it until January brings its merciful conclusion. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who is dead but he won't lie down, has had an absolutely terrible month, and the news today-

So, whatever, I wrote that early this morning because I wanted to do a post on the expenses scandal that is putting one more superfluous nail in the Labour government's coffin. It's simultaneously exciting (there's a whole side issue about how much the Daily Telegraph, the paper that broke the story, paid for it-figures as high as £300,000, which equals who the hell knows what in American dollars, I'll be damned if I'm doing a currency conversion, have been bandied about) and irrelevant, in that after twelve years the British are done with Labour and if it weren't this story it would be another one. Brown can technically hang on for another year before he has to call an election, but barring the revelation that every single member of the opposition Conservative party is a pedophile from outer space sent to the United Kingdom with directives to commit as many knife crimes as possible (which is all totally true, but nobody ever talks about it) he will simply be postponing the inevitable.

Anyway, where were we? Oh, right. I wrote that this morning but got bored with it. Hell, I got bored writing the paragraph about why I was writing about it. I am bored writing this sentence. I am also sitting at Professor Thom's on 2nd Avenue having a burger and a beer because there is nowhere to get a decent sandwich near the Awl offices, and I like to drink. Also? The burger? It is another indication that I am completely immature when it comes to issues of health. Never mind my rapidly-expanding midsection, think about the consequences in general. I haven't been to a doctor in years. My diet consists mostly of alcohol and peperoncini, but when I do eat anything substantial it is invariably something served in bars, which are not exactly renowned for their healthy options (not that I would order them if they were). Also, there is the smoking.

What was I saying? Ah, yes: So today I wanted to do something about British politics, but I bailed out. There was that great CNBC piece by Moe that I read and promptly forgot about. I had a joke lined up about Barack Obama hating polar bears because they are white, but that's pretty much something Byron York would do in complete seriousness, and it made me sad. I wanted to do something about the absurdity of the stock market, but, you know, numbers and research and actually having to look at historical patterns? On a sunny Friday? For free? Fuck that. We have not, I think, talked enough about Chrysler. I am still trying to think of some interesting way to do more pop culture stuff, but I get distracted easily. Mostly by the cat, who needs to chill. These things weigh on me, much like the burger I just had is about to weigh on my colon. I will try to think about it over the weekend, if I'm sober enough, although I am going to New Jersey and no one should ever have to be sober for that.

I actually had one other point I wanted to make, but it's just turned 5 and the bar is starting to fill up with people who are coming from their actual jobs, which is depressing on so many levels. It is clearly time to GET THE HELL OFF THE INTERNET. I'd recommend you do the same, but you're always one step ahead of me. You probably won't see this until Sunday night, at which point you'll be all WTF? Please be assured that I am 100% in agreement with that reaction.

P.S. We are not making enough fun of Cho.