The Awl

sigerson on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

sigerson — Thu, 14 May 2009 15:54:07 +0000

My only comment on this is that she sounds a little bitchy. Ok, ok, you're crying. That's one thing. But then to get all accusatory and belligerent with some stranger trying to read his neo-conservative rag in peace? Kind of aggressive, amirite? Only other possibility is that she wanted a little hatesex to make the pain go away and just reached out to the nearest acceptable male.

slinkimalinki on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

slinkimalinki — Wed, 13 May 2009 23:55:51 +0000

i've cried on lots of buses and nobody did a damned thing. which is probably good because "oh, i don't know, everything." doesn't give people much direction for comforting.

zidaane on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

zidaane — Wed, 13 May 2009 22:38:10 +0000

Choire should lock up the cat's steroids.

souplines on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

souplines — Wed, 13 May 2009 20:22:29 +0000

Balk, that's so emo of you. Side part and beard to follow.

Hez on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Hez — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:50:48 +0000

FUCK YOU AND YOUR MORABORIUM. I call "awesome" on you, Balk. Also, as a fellow word monkey who's been on the unemployment line many times in the past, "don't think it won't happen to you with your magazine" is a line that will probably haunt my nightmares, so thanks for that. *shudder*

shebs on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

shebs — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:19:21 +0000

I have stood on the corner of Market and Third Street in SF, at 10 a.m., clutching a GAP bag full of my desk contents, sobbing after being laid off and no one did a damn thing. I guess in San Francisco, sobbing and carrying plastic bags on Market Street just means you're homeless or crazy, or both.

shebs on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

shebs — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:16:02 +0000

Blogger sex. Haht.

missdelite on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

missdelite — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:13:47 +0000

Hardcore urbanites walk it off behind their Dior shades.

NatashaVC on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

NatashaVC — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:04:47 +0000

I tell people that one of the things that made me so uneasy about New York was that there was nowhere to cry and scream in private. In LA, I sob in my car about any old thing (and I so do) without anyone being the wiser. But looking back, the obvious fear was that I'd weep in a plastic train seat and no one would talk to me even if I wanted them to. CODA: And that's the reason I deleted PULP from my iPod.

LilyBlue on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

LilyBlue — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:25:01 +0000

Are you a pregnant 16-year-old? If so, I'm the nice lady that handed you the plastic bag.

jolie on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

jolie — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:24:48 +0000

The headline on this really should have been "Real Men Do Their Crying in Cabs"

Stop Okay Go on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Stop Okay Go — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:24:31 +0000

Thanks for sharing, Balk. I love these stories and the others linked to in the comments. Come clean though, isn't this story really just the lyrics to "Downtown Train"?

Patrick M on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Patrick M — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:00:14 +0000

I appreciate all the sentiment here, but everyone knows that "you with your magazine" is grifter slang for "handjob with my mouth", right?

suitep on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

suitep — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:42:49 +0000

Some of us can only aspire to be 'good guys'. Some fail miserably. I love it when someone doesn't.

BlinkyMcChuck on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

BlinkyMcChuck — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:30:53 +0000

My thought also.

BlinkyMcChuck on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

BlinkyMcChuck — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:29:38 +0000

Karen, I love you.

CaptainFantastic on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

CaptainFantastic — Wed, 13 May 2009 15:50:43 +0000

And that woman went on to become head of the new Slate ladysite Double X. Yes, Linda Hirshman. And now you know...the rest of the story.

fek on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

fek — Wed, 13 May 2009 15:46:27 +0000

I mean, it's nothing on "Take her to Bar Stuzzichini. Make sure to check out the menu, grease up the staff there, know what you're going to order an hour before," but still: it works.

IBentMyWookie on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

IBentMyWookie — Wed, 13 May 2009 15:25:00 +0000

Worst. Penthouse Letter. Ever.

Sassypants on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Sassypants — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:45:40 +0000

You did a great thing, Balk. What you said was spot on, but supportive as well. You put a bit of wind back in that girl's sails and probably lessened her dread. You helped her to cope. That's nothing to sneeze at. Well done.

Megan on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Megan — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:12:17 +0000

I know this to be patently untrue.

Emily on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Emily — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:05:52 +0000

I think I may have witnessed this! Either that or it's happened more than once. Hmm!

TerseNursePornstein on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

TerseNursePornstein — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:58:27 +0000

While living in Paris I fainted on the Metro and hit my head. But I guess you knew that. Oh, and no one stopped to help. Guess you knew that too!

katiebakes on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

katiebakes — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:17:28 +0000

Brooklyn?

Tuna Surprise on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Tuna Surprise — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:16:18 +0000

I think the F train is officially the Train Where Dreams Go To Die

binkysdream on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

binkysdream — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:01:43 +0000

If that were the case, then you ask for Jessica Stam's number. Duh.

Doree Shafrir on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:00:11 +0000

You were on the F, weren't you.

binkysdream on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

binkysdream — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:55:08 +0000

So that's where your name comes from!

IBentMyWookie on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

IBentMyWookie — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:52:11 +0000

But what was the job? I mean, this is sweet and all, but what if it turns out that she was a stylist for Teen Vogue or something equally asinine? What's the point of a lengthy anecdote if you can't judge the parties involved?

brianvan on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

brianvan — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:35:44 +0000

Tuna Surprise on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Tuna Surprise — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:26:04 +0000

I once threw up on the 6 train somewhere between Bleecker and 110. People just slowly backed away....

You're killing me, Smalls! on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

You're killing me, Smalls! — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:22:06 +0000

I once sobbed on the 6 train from 14th to 161st street. A French family sat across from me and tried not to stare. A guy standing next to me looked concerned, but didn't talk to me. Now I'll think of him as a guy who cared but maybe didn't know what to say. Thanks.

Lisanti on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Lisanti — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:21:25 +0000

This makes me want to fist-bump you with my cock.

mathnet on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

mathnet — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:17:06 +0000

I'm trying to decide whether or not to be moved. Are you serious, and if so, did you know at the time that Balk was Balk?

charliebabbles on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

charliebabbles — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:12:10 +0000

"So you think you're a tough-guy huh? Ehhh, you're not so tough. What's this, tough-guy magazine? Chain gonna make you tough?"

Moff on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Moff — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:05:30 +0000

"Sheeple," dude. It's sheeple.

Moff on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Moff — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:01:34 +0000

Yeah, but maybe some of the rest of us wanted her number, dude. There's no reason the search for young, emotionally vulnerable women can't be crowdsourced, too. I'm just saying, think of people besides yourself once in a while, Alex.

Mary Mouse on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Mary Mouse — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:00:57 +0000

"All dialogue in Modern Love is based on memory."

CrappyEditor on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

CrappyEditor — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:00:26 +0000

THIS IS THE MISSED CONNECTIONS POST, PEOPLE. CANT YOU SEE THAT?! NOW THIS GIRL IS GOING TO FIND ALEX AND WHATEVER BLOGGERS DO IN THE BEDROOM WILL ENSUE. THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL RUSE TO WIN OVER THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF THE AUDIENCE WHILE BALK DEVIOUSLY ENGAGES IN COITUS!!! SEE THE TRUTH!!!!

hman on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

hman — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:59:30 +0000

This lessens my anger/worries over the fare increase. Thanks.

jdel on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

jdel — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:58:58 +0000

Reminded me of this: http://gawker.com/304528/things-id-rather-forget

Ross on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Ross — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:58:25 +0000

Happened to be one of the people within feet of Balk and this young woman. It was pretty heartbreaking. The part I caught was when she mentioned "a job I loved." That may have been the shocking part for anyone eavesdropping, so rare. We're never expecting that. This is what you get for reading instead of putting in earbuds, cranking the iPod and shutting out the rest of the world. Kidding aside, you handled her admirably.

gecko on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

gecko — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:57:17 +0000

Thank you.

Rod T on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Rod T — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:54:50 +0000

... may be republished in Awl media.

brianvan on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

brianvan — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:53:52 +0000

So I was reading my MAD Magazine on the subway, and Al Jaffe sat next to me and started crying...

BeRightBack on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

BeRightBack — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:53:43 +0000

So maybe wearing this shirt everywhere I go sends the wrong message?

Emily on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Emily — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:53:35 +0000

Alex Balk on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Alex Balk — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:51:54 +0000

THAT'S more like it.

Rod T on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Rod T — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:50:03 +0000

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Alex Balk on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Alex Balk — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:44:50 +0000

I hate you.

Alex Balk on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Alex Balk — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:44:19 +0000

Appreciated, everyone, but let's have a little moratorium on the congratulations, sweet as they are. Story's not so much about me as it is about, I dunno, larger issues and urban living and whatever. Thanks.

Emily on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Emily — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:44:13 +0000

Oversharer! J/k. I teared up. And now I have "Don't Stop Believin'" stuck in my head?

karion on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

karion — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:43:14 +0000

Thanks, Balk. You are one of the good guys.

Aatom on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Aatom — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:42:18 +0000

This makes me want to give you a fist bump.

numbersix on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

numbersix — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:41:55 +0000

A+

Peter Feld on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Peter Feld — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:41:55 +0000

well, you can always take another look at this. Thanks for this Alex.

MercuryPDX on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

MercuryPDX — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:41:20 +0000

It's nothing to be embarrassed about Balk. You did good.

Peter Feld on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Peter Feld — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:40:01 +0000

That's why I try to use it so sparingly, but yes.

numbersix on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

numbersix — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:36:15 +0000

Goddamn, Balk.

Helman on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

Helman — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:36:01 +0000

You should write about your emotions MORE!

KarenUhOh on Do I consider myself a hero? Yes. Yes I do.

KarenUhOh — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:33:57 +0000

You know what? Decency is everybody's secret weapon.