Random Missives: Dear Netflix

These Missives! They Are Random!Dear Netflix,

I understand the theory behind your “We’d Think You’d Like” recommendations, but I have to say I’ve taken umbrage with my list.

1. Visually Striking Dramas Based On Real Life

First off, while the guy from Joy Division totally does kill himself, I hardly think “24 Hour Party People” counts as a drama. Also, I don’t think you can seriously say it’s “Visually striking.” Maybe you’re just confused about the striking part-there was a rumor actor Steve Coogan beat the shit out of his grandmother, is that you were thinking of?

Anyway, I hardly think that’s call for recommending I sit through “Frida,” do you?

2. Romantic Movies Starring Ralph Fiennes

Firstly, Ralph Fiennes (did you know it’s pronounced “Ralph Fiennes”?) is a really good actor. Him as Heathcliff to Juliette Binoche’s Cathy was ingenious casting, and that part in “The English Patient” when he says he will put Kristen Scott Thomas’ watercolors in his old copy of Herodotus? Swoon.

Re: my recent rental of “The Duchess,” it’s not like me and my seven cats put on our favorite sweaters and watched it together (my lease won’t allow pets).

….OK, fine. I give in .

This was a pretty good recommendation. But I am not watching “Maid in Manhattan.” Again.

3. Critically Acclaimed Witty Comedies

EVERYONE SAW “JUNO” IT WASN’T JUST ME.

Also, I’m taking a poll: do you think Michael is too young for me? Don’t answer now, just think about it.

4. Sentimental Movies Featuring A Strong Female Lead

I hardly think that the BBC’s “The Tenant Of Wildfell Hall” counts as “sentimental.” Secondly, you want me to see “P.S. I Love You“? How dare you, Sir or Madam?

5. British Movies Based On Classic Literature

I have seen 3/4 of the films you’ve suggested. You call this bringing your A game?

You see why I’m concerned. I looking forward to hearing from you. Also, while I have your ears, why isn’t “Catch And Release” available for Instaplay?

Thank you,

EA

EA Hanks likes writing letters to people. She hopes you won’t mind if she shares some of them.