Cinematic Board Game Adaptations Prey On Nation's Idiocy
Oooh! "Peter Berg is in talks to direct a big screen adaptation of Hasbro's board game Battleship for Universal Pictures." It may also star Robert Pattinson! (Because everything may also star Robert Pattinson! He's hot right now! And great for SEO!) Anyway, Peter Berg's Battleship, like Ridley Scott's Monopoly, is yet another example of how the POWER OF BRANDING has supplanted the importance of originality, as Hollywood has decided audiences will only pay attention to something they played with/watched as a child/saw the previous installment of. It depresses me. On the other hand, greenlight Charlie Kaufman's Yahtzee or Lars Von Trier's Hungry Hungry Hippos and I promise to be there.
Sorry.
My Aggravation continues to build.
My mind is Boggle'd.
Chris Nolan.
Peter Weir's Risk?
I bet 'Don't Wake Daddy' would be really sexy. Someone call Gus Van Sant.
Or, perhaps: Eli Roth's 'Crocodile Dentist'.
The Coen Brothers present "Chutes & Ladders"
"Twister II."
David Cronenberg's Operation? Oh, never mind.
Scorcese's Parcheesi.
Oh, that's good. I would have gone with Mira Nair, but that's just ethnist.
Rohmer has a lusty adaptation of Mille Bornes.
Alfonso Cuaron's Candyland.
"Candy Land" is unforunately real.
The singularity is nigh.
David Lynch's Scattergories.
Quentin Tarantino's Operation
Ron Howard's Checkers or was that Frost/Nixon?
This is just sad. Hollywood has sunk to an all time low. I hope these board game movies suck as bad and are as big of a box office failure as Speed Racer.
Do you like Kipling, Ms. Scarlet?
Sure, I eat anything.
oh just Tiddly Winks to it all
Peter Berg is a punk capable of great evil but this smells distinctly of bullshit to me.
But also, in spite of the obvious shortfalls of Shia leBeouf's performance, is there anyone else who prefers Michael Bay's "Scrabble" to Sayajit Ray's "Scrabulous Trilogy?" It's just so much more pa-ZOW!
Is it too late to rename Von Trier's Antichrist as Hungry Hungry Hippos? Seems like it could be appropriate.
Jim Carry IS Stevan Seagal in CHARADES.
i predict this joke will go widely under-appreciated. Tragic.
Claire Denis' Trouble. To be played very day.
Kevin Costner's Wahoo
Wes Craven's Bedbugs.