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Monday, May 18, 2009

29

Cinematic Board Game Adaptations Prey On Nation's Idiocy

Oooh! "Peter Berg is in talks to direct a big screen adaptation of Hasbro's board game Battleship for Universal Pictures." It may also star Robert Pattinson! (Because everything may also star Robert Pattinson! He's hot right now! And great for SEO!) Anyway, Peter Berg's Battleship, like Ridley Scott's Monopoly, is yet another example of how the POWER OF BRANDING has supplanted the importance of originality, as Hollywood has decided audiences will only pay attention to something they played with/watched as a child/saw the previous installment of. It depresses me. On the other hand, greenlight Charlie Kaufman's Yahtzee or Lars Von Trier's Hungry Hungry Hippos and I promise to be there.

29 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh
KarenUhOh (#19)

Sorry.

Krugmanic Depressive

My Aggravation continues to build.

David Cho
David Cho (#3)

My mind is Boggle'd.

Krugmanic Depressive

Chris Nolan.

Redline
Redline (#513)

Peter Weir's Risk?

Tyler Coates
Tyler Coates (#451)

I bet 'Don't Wake Daddy' would be really sexy. Someone call Gus Van Sant.

Tyler Coates
Tyler Coates (#451)

Or, perhaps: Eli Roth's 'Crocodile Dentist'.

sigerson
sigerson (#179)

The Coen Brothers present "Chutes & Ladders"

KarenUhOh
KarenUhOh (#19)

"Twister II."

Krugmanic Depressive

David Cronenberg's Operation? Oh, never mind.

NotAndersonCooper

Scorcese's Parcheesi.

Krugmanic Depressive

Oh, that's good. I would have gone with Mira Nair, but that's just ethnist.

NotAndersonCooper

Rohmer has a lusty adaptation of Mille Bornes.

Krugmanic Depressive

Alfonso Cuaron's Candyland.

Setec Astrology

"Candy Land" is unforunately real.

Krugmanic Depressive

The singularity is nigh.

Tyler Coates
Tyler Coates (#451)

David Lynch's Scattergories.

jolie
jolie (#16)

Quentin Tarantino's Operation

NinaHagen
NinaHagen (#131)

Ron Howard's Checkers or was that Frost/Nixon?

Chris
Chris (#417)

This is just sad. Hollywood has sunk to an all time low. I hope these board game movies suck as bad and are as big of a box office failure as Speed Racer.

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

Do you like Kipling, Ms. Scarlet?
Sure, I eat anything.

FeyBoohoozer
FeyBoohoozer (#410)

oh just Tiddly Winks to it all

My Number Is My Address

Peter Berg is a punk capable of great evil but this smells distinctly of bullshit to me.

But also, in spite of the obvious shortfalls of Shia leBeouf's performance, is there anyone else who prefers Michael Bay's "Scrabble" to Sayajit Ray's "Scrabulous Trilogy?" It's just so much more pa-ZOW!

chia
chia (#405)

Is it too late to rename Von Trier's Antichrist as Hungry Hungry Hippos? Seems like it could be appropriate.

Slapdash
Slapdash (#174)

Jim Carry IS Stevan Seagal in CHARADES.

Abe Sauer
Abe Sauer (#148)

i predict this joke will go widely under-appreciated. Tragic.

musicmope
musicmope (#428)

Claire Denis' Trouble. To be played very day.

kpants
kpants (#719)

Kevin Costner's Wahoo

Flashman
Flashman (#418)

Wes Craven's Bedbugs.

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