You know you can't get enough of my "what I'm wearing" posts.
UPDATE: It is currently 90 degrees in New York City. In deference to your collective wisdom, I am wearing pants. This had better work out.
UPDATE: It is currently 90 degrees in New York City. In deference to your collective wisdom, I am wearing pants. This had better work out.
I was going to make note of today's weather, which is 90 degrees with a 50% chance of anti-flu face masks on the street and a 100% chance of emaciated girls with yoga mats and apparently no job.
Also I am wearing shorts because I am not a moron.
Right the fuck on. Real men aren't afraid to show leg.
Take your pants off, Balk. Wuss.
Pants-free! I have to believe the Cock wants out of the heat.
Oh gawd, there's a jogging trail right by my house, and yesterday I saw two gaunt jogging but facemasked people. Don't you have to be in close quarters to really be at risk of flu? Anyway, neither looked they had eaten meat ever and I bet they listen to NPR. I must say, I will gladly die of the swine flu if the only survivors are people like this.
Dude, the masks won't prevent swine flu … but they will decrease the amount of nasty particulate matter you breathe in while running in the urban heat. Your vegetarian, npr listening joggers were being rational.
Not that this approaches being at all any sort of excuse. Jogging in facemasks? Jesus.
I'm not going outside.
I bet you're sweltering, too.
Note the tags.
So much for virility.
EW! Stop that.
the balls would sweat even in the shorts. unless they were extremely ball-airing shorts. which would probably mean you should join a commune or become a p.e. teacher or take up some other creepy activity.
Meanwhile it's cold and overcast in LA, about 60 right now.
And I told you to wear the shorts.
Ball Sweat is a GREAT new tag.
But if you drink and walk – and fall down – trousers are ever so much more dignified, and save your knees from total destruction. Next up: Long sleeves rolled up are ever so much sexier than short sleeves. I swear.
You know people just like to see you suffer, right?
W/r/t this and yesteday's post: I'm the fanciest of fancypantses, but shorts are unacceptably gross. Nobody needs to see anybody's withered manleg hair. Courage, Balk.
You could always wear a nice summer-weight kilt. Kilts and leg-hair are a match made in heaven. Or so they told us at my all-girl Catholic high school.
This is a great idea.
New new fantasy: A post that takes a combination of the "The Hapsburgs," the "Things That Make Alex Balk Cry" and the "Ball Sweat" tags.