Your subhead of the day: "Tiny Tuscarora Counts on Stereos Arrayed In Desert to Repel Hungry Mormon Crickets." The story's actually pretty good, but you're forgiven for thinking "what the hell is going on with the world?"
Friday, April 24, 2009
9
Tomorrow: "Katy Perry Proves Awesome Insecticide"
My parents once had a gaze of raccoons living under their porch. They, and animal control, tried all sorts of tricks and traps to get them out. Three weeks passed and still nothing was working.
A neighbor came to the rescue, suggesting we leave a radio playing next to the basement window well where they'd set up shop. One talk radio personality, in particular, had proven so boisterously offensive that no varmints could stand to be within miles of his voice.
That man: Rush Limbaugh.
They were gone in an afternoon. True story.
oddly enough, the Car Talk guys read a similar letter on air last week.
And the language used in the letter was oddly similar, too. Hmmm!
But those raccoons were NPR-hating neocons -- these raccoons were reformed Colorado blue-staters.
My apologies. also for Prop 8.
To get rid of crotch crickets that you get from a Mormon, I reccommend a 6-pack of disposable razors and a can of Edge.
But I didn't think Mormons made any sound when they rub their legs together!
[...] found this great cricket picture here: http://www.theawl.com/2009/04/when-mormons-attack-only-rock-and-roll-will-save-you. The title here should be enough to get you to click on it, don’t ya [...]