What If The Wingnuts Were Right About Aliens?
You know when you're a little bit tired and you read about an Apollo 14 astronaut who insists there are aliens out there in space and that the government is covering it all up, and you think, "What a wingnut!" And then you think: Well, wait a moment, what if I am brainwashed by the Pentagon and I am part of the Big Lie? Of course, this particular astronaut, Edgar Mitchell, was also "remotely healed" of "kidney cancer" by someone named "Adam Dreamhealer."
I appeared partially nude in Playboy with Sacheen Littlefeather.
Adam Dreamhealer is a phenomenal man with phenomenal abilities.
Oh and he's kind of hot, in that nerdy "I have a thousand artifacts of the indigenous people in my house even though I am a Canadian Jew" way. (N.B. He may or may not be a Canadian Jew.) Decide for yourself: http://www.dreamhealer.com/
I believe he can get me through the night.
Oooh dreamhealer.
According to NASA, you cannot actually construct a lunar missile without using wingnuts. The engineers on Apollo 14 clearly misread the instruction manual.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49jB43ss-W8&feature=PlayList&p=64B8283E7738B52B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2
ooops. that didn't work.
Try this without the v (thinking wordsmoker).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49jB43ss-W8&feature=PlayList&p=64B8283E7738B52B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2
Fucking Jesus, listen to that shit.Thank god for punk.
Check out the Apollo 11 astronauts' press conference after they returned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RcKLAo62Ro
They seem despondent/depressed/fearful–as though they were told to keep quiet.
Check out Neil Armstrong's cryptic comment at the White House years later: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aduN2hBBFfA&feature=PlayList&p=419B86565AEF7D00&index=10
I wonder if Larry Craig was only taking A. Dreamhealer's advice and tap tap tapping his troubles away with Emotional Freedom Technique.
Adam Dreamhealer. Srsly? Best way to be taken seriously is to make your Dungeons & Dragons name your real name.
Odd, that was the Hippy name the Facebook quiz assigned me… but seriously, how do you prove the Wingnut wrong? It's genius.
In my Choose Your Own Adventure version of this story, "Adam Dreamhealer" is actually a missed transcription of "a damn dreamhealer" and http://www.dreamhealer.com trails only http://www.hipstergrifter.com as the most prescient domain name purchase of 2009.
Look, just be glad he didn't come back with melting flesh and a need to avenge Dr. Ted Nelson.
Don't knock "remote healing". I am fully under the impression that the actress Summer Glau is increasing the blood-flow to my penis from thousands of miles away.
I don't know how that worthless remote is ever going to heal anything. I had to put duct tape on the back just to keep the batteries from falling out.
Would some of us necessarily know if WE were the "other" aliens?
I'm gonna go ask Hawkings, well maybe a little later