This Gap baby coat will choke your infant to death. This crib will strangle it. Now you know what I am getting my pregnant friends for Christmas before these products are yanked off the market.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
19
This post offended me.
Impressive.
If your kid doesn't die of embarrassment first!
Did someone say embarrassment? Yesssss! I've gone viral.
Death by ugly pink coat. Now that's offensive.
Choire is a marked man in Park Slope when this gets out.
Since I'm unemployed I can't buy any gifts but I am planning on tying knots in the mini-blinds' cords for all my friends with kids.
I used to make jokes like this, then I had kids and started making jokes about babysitting as the best contraceptive ever.
Oooh! Can Death Hazards actually become a daily feature?! (You could have, like, a whole Mainway Toys banner with a Little Johnny Switchblade or a Bag O' Glass image!)
The Dukes of Death Hazards?
You guys are going to make my mom's weekly recalled-consumer-items-and-affirmative-message emails partially redundant.
Children should be swaddled in hand me down body paint.
Lead-based, obviously.
You like children like W.C. Fields and me like children: fried.
Does the coat come in adult sizes?
One person is free to spew stupidity where ever they might graze. That the lemmings who also graze here do not find the spewed stupidity, uh, stupid is no surprise â€"just sadder than sad.
However, it is sufficient to move me to never returning to this site.
So long
Okay! Anyway, the coat was recalled before it even had a chance to kill any children! (Like a Christmas tree that never gets an angel on top.)
But there's a monkey somewhere with a pretty good rope burn on his neck.
But Gap has a history of attempting murder-by-outerwear. Jacket fasteners seem to be their weapon of choice:
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2008/01/01/things-fall-apart-gap-outlet-boy-s-jackets.aspx
It seems that drawstrings have been outlawed, which may be a violation of the second amendment.
I like that you read Babble, Choire.