Balk-
I am super tired! As are you probably. I was just downstairs smoking and reading the May/June issue of Departures magazine, which declares that "A is for an Enlightened Austerity!" Yes, "The era of the $50 million corporate jet, the $70 million Warhol, and the $6000 shower curtain is over." Um, and I had just forgotten all about Dennis Kozlowski and his shower curtain! Let's kill everyone!
I didn't mean to be passive-aggressive at our staff meeting today. Really! That's like the third time that people thought, or I was afraid they thought, that I was being passive-aggressive today. I had to write a note to Doree explaining that once earlier already. And she was like, um, what are you talking about? Heh. D'oh!
And when I told David Cho in the meeting that I really didn't care about the next iteration of the design for our website, I really meant that. I don't care! Let's experiment! Let's go crazy. Like a naive hooker, I'll try anything twice.
Stupid hookers.
What else? I'm sorry that you have to watch me give the cat antibiotics every morning. I'm sure the cat is more upset about it than us but still. Remember when you and me and Emily and Doree had a meeting at that very table where we work now, when I first came back to Gawker, and Emily was basically like, "What the fuck do you want? Who the fuck are you?" That was totally fun. That was back when we used to smoke inside.
So, the site was really fun yesterday, by which I mean Tuesday, and it was totally not so fun today, which is good, because that probably means it will be fun tomorrow. That is pretty much the pattern, right? Plus I will maybe be over being phenomenally bummed out about Peter Kaplan leaving the Observer.
One of the complaints I have been listening to today from readers (I love readers! And I love reader complaints!) is that "frequency of posting is working against us." A couple of people said that on Rex's blog today. (Ha, so it must be true! No but seriously.) I know it'll take us a few weeks or months or lifetimes to work it all out, but I'm thinking about erring on the side of under-posting for a little while.
If I can stop myself.
Which maybe I can't.
Okay I am going to go give the cat his nighttime pills.
Speaking of, here is a video about giving cats pills which is basically like Things White People Like or whatever that was called meets This Is Why You're Fat b/w I Can Haz Cheezburger.
Faster, Pussycat! Pill! Pill!
The "Balk" at the beginning led me to believe that the latter was the writer behind this. Which in turn led me to think, "When the hell did Balk become a total cat fag?".
The exclamation points should have tipped me off.
Try anything once? Naive hooker? Sort of like how I am eating a box of these Butterfingers Buzz bars RIGHT NOW?
No, Choire, please don't not post as much. AND WASH THE DISHES YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK HERE
OMG, I want to drive over there and pill that cat for her. She makes it look much harder then it is, fortheLOVEofGOD.
The frequency of posting is good. It keeps me coming back every 5 minutes. That's what you want, right? Right?
I don't know what I want! But I think I want you regularly well-fed, rather than constantly ravenous.
"That's what she said."
Just like you did with that poor cat.
At least hide my pill in a piece of cheese, when the time comes.
It is true! It is true!!!
Ignore the Rex and the People that post on the Place of Rex. They feed off of things like the pain your cat feels.
Who is Rex?
Relax..you guys are good.
sheeesh. use the element of surprise. wait until the cat is innocently walking across the floor and then open its mouth and throw the pill down.
I think my step mom has the $70 million Warhol. The bitch.
Hmmmm. I would disagree that frequency of posting is working against you. I'm rather enjoying it.
I'm just relieved to hear you are still smoking.
YOU STOLE OUR SHIFT MEMO YOU BASTARRRRRDDDDD.
The Sploid Shift Memo was the best part of that fucking site, for the six weeks or whatever you actually worked there, before ABANDONING me.
Now, Balk, remember that the response to Choire's shift memo is supposed to be genius.
Yeah, I'm super-pissed that he pulled it out this early, and WITH NO WARNING. How'm I gonna raise the game on THIS? Such an undermining move.
I stared confused at that video, unsure of what I was watching, and didn't really react until the end when she said stroke, stiff, and swallow within one 10 second sound bite.
Also, the more you post, the less I have to do at work.
So post away.
I'm just waiting until you start giving Balk his nighttime pills. (I'm just assuming you've both been off the antibiotics ever since you stopped having to share same toilet as Nick Denton.)
Your frequency of postings gives me something to do while waiting for Wonkette to post which gives me something to do while waiting for 538.com to post which gives me something to do while waiting for Indian election results to post which gives me something to do while waiting for the Apocalypse.
Curt? Is that you?
Again the fretting over what sissy media fags think of your place. Are you not men? (You are Devo!)
RE: frequency
Please don't go 24/7. I like it when you sleep. And we can tiptoe around the site.
Choire: That crazy cat lady is doing it all wrong. I thought everyone knew that you pulverize the pill and slip it into your cat's 5 o'clock pomegranate martini.
Seriously, though, you need to essentially ROLL your cat in the towel like it's a Siamese burrito.
Choire: That crazy cat lady is doing it all wrong. I thought everyone knew that you pulverize the pill and slip it into your cat's 5 o'clock pomegranate martini.
Seriously, though, you need to essentially ROLL your cat in the towel like a Siamese burrito.
Ooops!
dear choire and balk, this morning i was in a hypnogogic state, that time occurring in the state of intermediate consciousness preceding sleep, or just waking up, whatever. some people have auditory or visual hallucinations. Like me!
anyway, i MAAAADE OUT with Elizabeth Mitchell for 3 hours! It was New Year's Day, at dawn!
Do you know what that means? It means today will be better than yesterday.
Actually, Choire, I thought it was pretty good.
Oh ... SHIFT Memo. Never mind.
keep posting and posting and posting. Unless of course that is not what you want (which I believe is just what you said).
Your memo just coughed up a hairball.
How your Butterfinger Buzz gets made.
This was adorably over-sharey. It's like I was watching Emily. And now I must stab myself in the eyes. But with regrets!
Please, please, please continue over posting--it gives some of us a reason to live for the next 45 minutes.
I wish she'd messed up and said "no one likes to kill cats . . . Oh! I mean pill cats not kill cats! My goodness!" I would have laughed.