It's upfront season in New York, when the TV networks have 50 or so reporters in to tell them all about their new shows. This morning I hit Bravo's. Most notable were their terrifying new young-skewing reality series, NYC Prep and Miami Social.

These shows are so insanely, unbelievably vapid-at least, judging from the clips we were shown. (Maybe in the parts of the shows we didn't see they were discussing great books and global warming!) But honestly, I was actually a little horrified to be a human being while watching them! They are about well-off people who like to fuck and spend money, pretty much. The thing is, human beings have been off the savanna for a while. And while we have forgotten about like, how to grow food and stuff, and we eat garbage and plastic, still our reptile brain stems are all, "HAVE SEX WITH THAT ONE, IT HAS CHILD-BEARING HIPS," and "DANGER, DANGER, KILL THAT ONE OVER THERE." And so there are lots of shouting matches with models over dominance issues. This is so unbelievably gross and bad.

Also mostly sad.

This will be Bravo's best year ever in the ratings. Congratulations to them.