The Cougar Explains Itself

A press release arrived this afternoon from the network TV Land. It explains why the 20 contestants on new reality show "The Cougar"-in which they try to seduce an older woman-are participating. (The "older woman" is 40.) I for one certainly hope the aliens are enjoying this bit of human anthropology being blasted out ever-further and ever-louder into space.

Adam, 25
Handsome and arrogant self-described "man of mystery" who is competing with his twin brother for the heart of the "cougar."

Austin, 24
Prides himself on successfully charming older women with his sense of humor.

Bodie, 23
This "pool boy" revels in the attention he gets by showing off his body to house moms when he cleans their pools.

Brad, 24
Apart from his funny personality, he is a total romantic who wants to find true love with the "cougar."

Colt, 25
A charismatic musician from Los Angeles who is looking for the older love of his life.

David, 25
Enjoys dating "cougars" because he prefers someone who has "a real personality versus someone who plays games."

Grant, 25
Having his twin brother, Adam, also compete for Stacey's affections can only spell trouble for him.

J.D., 24
A sensitive guy who loves to write poetry and, with a flash of his dimples, can easily win any woman over.

Jim, 22
Confident about his charm and looks, he doesn't have much experience with "cougars," but he is open to a relationship with one.

Jimmy, 23
Sexy personal trainer who prefers dating older women because they are "more experienced in bed."

Joe, 23
A baby-faced sweetheart who recently found himself getting stalked by a few "cougars" and liked it!

Johnny, 23
An outgoing, eager young guy who dates "cougars" because they don't play "junior high games."

Jon, 27
Prefers "cougars" because they are "goal-oriented and mature," like him.

Kai, 28
Appreciates an older woman who is "mature, intelligent and experienced."

Kevin, 23
A hopeless romantic who has been unlucky in love but is determined to find the right "cougar."

Nick, 27
This officer of the law likes when women are sexually aggressive.

Rich, 29
Prefers to do small gestures to show his feelings but also likes to leave women wanting more.

Ryan, 29
Refers to himself as "the cougar hunter" and wouldn't even be opposed to a grandma!

Tom, 26
Has not been in a relationship for the past three years and Stacey will be his first "cougar."

Travis, 21
This sweet, polite guy has a boyish charm but admits that he has given up dating people his own age.

"The Cougar" airs at some hour on the network, which can maybe be found if you hit yourself in the head with the remote long enough.