Comments on: Social A's: However Do You Integrate Terrible Events With Your Online World?

By: Cliff Spab

Cliff Spab — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:35:07 +0000

This is why Emily is terrific. I mean, also the rooftop swimsuit photo, but you know what I'm saying.

By: BlinkyMcChuck

BlinkyMcChuck — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:22:21 +0000

Classy. AND sassy.

By: Sweetie

Sweetie — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:06:59 +0000

Except this is also an accurate description of my neighborhood.

By: sigerson

sigerson — Fri, 01 May 2009 00:56:41 +0000

The "Choire" byline that was initially on this page confused me. The lack of exclamation points should have given it away.

By: boricuaintexas

boricuaintexas — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:28:37 +0000

It's been done already, but not by NYT/NYMag:
http://consumerist.com/5157481/facebook-wont-let-you-remove-dead-relatives-page-per-policy

By: mathnet

mathnet — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:00:15 +0000

Why the hell is J.Jill Online Outlet advertising on MyDeadSpace (http://www.mydeathspace.com/)?

By: Soup

Soup — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:37:08 +0000

I guess it's cheaper than therapy.

By: davidwatts

davidwatts — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:34:35 +0000

I also refuse to say "tweeting." Just not a fan. Not at all.

By: Tyler Coates

Tyler Coates — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:22:13 +0000

If I don't know the person, I probably won't say anything at all. Although I remember when I was blogging about my own crises, I appreciated the nice emails from strangers.

I guess I just don't know how to handle other people's emotions very well. Or, honestly, my own – which is probably a reason why I have a blog.

By: DorothyMantooth

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:20:39 +0000

In a somewhat bizarre case of synchronicity, I actually stumbled upon this today. So there you go. Also, this was a really nice piece, Emily!

By: Tyler Coates

Tyler Coates — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:19:52 +0000

I like the Proust questionnaire. Because Proust wrote the questions, not someone from Vanity Fair.

By: Sapphireblue

Sapphireblue — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:15:28 +0000

This is thoughtful and lovely, actually, and the comment troll from the karaoke piece can suck it.

Because I myself am neither thoughtful nor lovely, though, what I really want to hear more about, is a possible correlation between [1] the percentage of your ("one's") Facebook friends list that you've met twice (or fewer) and either [2A] youth or [2B] Web 2.0 fluency.

or, uh, that's what I'd want to hear more about if I were old and Web 1.0.

By: these_models_suck

these_models_suck — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:55:45 +0000

love you even more, Emily….

By: JR Rice

JR Rice — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:30:20 +0000

Yeah, totally. His ass was so foine, he was getting away with a lot, lol. Ah well.

By: Choire

Choire — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:27:56 +0000

No, I don't think you do quite actually!

Is Emily. Hence the bylines and the sound of Emily and the Emilyness.

By: fek

fek — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:02:38 +0000

You know what I like about Vanity Fair? The covers. The covers are nice.

By: rod_townsend

rod_townsend — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:58:02 +0000

Wait. I met that guy. He was fuckin' HOT. I would have … done the same.

By: TheHonJudgeSmails

TheHonJudgeSmails — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:55:45 +0000

Or a really bad NYT Magazine feature.

By: TheHonJudgeSmails

TheHonJudgeSmails — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:53:47 +0000

That's going to be an interesting lawsuit. Who gets to decide if a deceased person's Facebook page stays up? Can families sue to force them to be taken down? Do they have to give the family the login/password? If so, what if some salaciously scandalous details about that person are revealed?

This has all the makings of an NYMag article.

By: Maura Johnston

Maura Johnston — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:50:40 +0000

facebook pages, i've noticed so far, have a tendency of staying up after death — not often updated, but many times with fond-memory wall posts on birthdays or other important days. but part of me wonders if that's the case because it's facebook that's in charge of hosting the thing. (i've seen a few personally hosted blogs that went away after their proprietors died because the domain-name fees weren't paid; the urls often reverted to those dumb fake search result pages that are the specialty of domain-squatters.)

ugh, this is so morbid. apologies. this piece is really great, emily.

By: JR Rice

JR Rice — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:47:44 +0000

A++ Would Read Again

I used to be extremely open and uncensored in terms of my personal life in my writing, and then I was dating a guy who claimed to be highly private and was uncomfortable with my openess. But why would I be writing about him so much, I wondered.

But he kept on and on. Criticized my older posts. At one point, I actually did because self-conscious about everything and started locking up my old posts. For the first time I was feeling violated and vulnerable when I was unapologetic and open before.

So I had let someone else's insecurities mess up my security and ultimately my writing/online persona. I will never forgive myself for that. You can only be hurt by someone as along as you allow them to hurt you, so I cannot begrudge him his shortcomings. But now I'm getting over all of that, one way or another. He is no longer in my life, which is good. The lessons I learned of myself during that time are priceless because I will never allow myself to forget how, for a moment, I allowed someone else's perceptions of me command who I were to be. And that's silly.

Overshare away. The Internet never forgets and neither should you so you might as well embrace that and keep on moving.

By: TheHonJudgeSmails

TheHonJudgeSmails — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:40:45 +0000

I've been wondering: what will happen to things like Facebook pages once their proprietors die?

This has inevitably happened before. I want to know.

By: MisterHippity

MisterHippity — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:37:02 +0000

"It is okay to leave some parts of your life undocumented."

Now that's just crazy talk, Emily, and you know it.

By: alison

alison — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:30:35 +0000

great piece!

By: rod_townsend

rod_townsend — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:14:51 +0000

Ack.

Meant to add at the end: Otherwise, completely agreed and should be required reading for Twitfacelr users.