Vice magazine has finally found its sweet spot, in this article entitled I DITCHED MY CAT IN THE HAMPTONS OVER THE WEEKEND, in which the author allegedly ditches his/her cat in the Hamptons over the weekend. Update: Crazily typical and yet still surprising! Now s/he swears that s/he still has precious kittens in custody.
Um, what's with the crickets, people? I can haz outrage? (sorry)
Seriously, though, this person was too ashamed to relinquish his/her cat to a shelter because the shelter people might judge, but was not too ashamed to act all faux-nonchalant about the experience on the internet, And That's Why The Internet Is Bad. (number billion in a series)
I am totally onboard with you on this, E. This is a disgusting story.
The solution for animal abusers brings out my Draconian side. You do to them what they did to the animal. Simple.
Finally, a rational connecting point for a love of the ASPCA and Leopold and Loeb. I'll have to try to work out an advance for a piece tentatively titled "I DITCHED THE BODY IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION THIS WEEKEND."
Yeah-but leave her in her underwear on a rainy winter night somewhere in the Rockaways. Hamptons garbage dinner is too good for this witch.
The only thing that's funnier than abandoning cats in the Hamptons is abandoning the elderly members of the Beale/Bouvier clan in the Hamptons.
Caroline, you better fucking hope you're Vatican bound because I am looking at you.
If this is humor: FAIL.
If it's for real, these geniuses just documented their own crime. Please report it to ASPCA Humane Law Enforcement at enforcement@aspca.org or (212) 876-7700, ext. 4450.
I HOPE this is just another "Bonsai Kitten" type hoax.* In fact I hereby choose to BELIEVE that. Because I want to think positive and just assume this can't be real.
(* Except not nearly as funny -- because Bonsai Kitten was the funniest fucking thing ever.)
If he/she organizes enough people who have done terrible things to animals he/she can get a book deal like that True Mom Confessions thing that has been ALL OVER the Today show lately. Safety in numbers of something.
I have no problem with this.
Hey ... you're doing that "contrarian" thing, aren't you?
Good grief. This is a huge FAIL on the humor meter for me. I'm the complete opposite. I've had my cat for 18 years since she was a kitten. She's traveled with me from L.A., to San Fran and to Asia and back. That's just fucking cruel.
They could have given the cat up to a shelter. It's just not funny. It's not like they left a teddy bear on the side of the road. This is a living being.
In all fairness, the post-it only had room for the tent, video camera and condoms.
Ooh! Insidery, but from different insides! This site is going to need a wiki in no time.
Ooh, look what the cat dragged in! Bring your drink over here.
My guess is that the story was McClure's rationale for writing her expensive Hamptons (and pet medical expenses) trip off as a business expense.
Lame on all counts.