How the Indie Have Fallen
A press release received today at Awl HQ:
An eclectic crew of models (Maryna Linchuk/Catherine McNeil/Chanel Iman), billionaires (Ron Burkle), and hip hop couple (Janet Jackson/Jermaine Dupree) joined DJ Vibe and DJ Sal Morale Friday night at Mr. West to celebrate Liz Phair's 42nd birthday!
We really hope Burkle doesn't fuck and run. Or that she lets him lick her whitechocolatespaceegg. Or … okay, we'll stop now. Because, ew.
Unpaid Photoshop internship available! Contact the editors for more information!
Polyester Broad.
i am now having awful visions of a jermaine dupri-produced liz phair album. (as if 'discipline' wasn't his wife's attempt to get in on the lyrical stylings of 'exile in guyville.')
It couldn't be any worse then her last couple of albums, could it?
Sheryl Crow looks GREAT for her age in that pic.
Bad jeans though.
Ugh, all the money in the world is not enough.
Burkle's buddy Bill Clinton was well known for leaving suspicious things in the sink.
Let's just acknowledge that I could go on in that vein fora million more comments and move on.
It's nice to be liked but it's better by far to get paid! Ok! Sorry! Stopping!
For these imaginary accomplishments, she'd better send some money to the alma mater.
And I'm gonna tell my son to keep his money in his mattress,
And his watch on any hand between his thighs.
Sads publicist has to write things that make truth wrong.
"Unpaid Photoshopping of Liz Phair Internship Available!"
I'll take it.
Are you guys allowed to make Burkle jokes here? Isn't he a silent investor?
The release talks of billionaires, plural. burkle's only one billionaire. who's the other? I call bullshit. also, I remember thinking upon first seeing this sad photo, 'well, one way to get washboard abs is to tie a washboard to your abs.'
Theycame with the eclectic crew of hip hop couple.
TheywereveryeagertogetheretooasyoucanseewhitechocolatespaceeggII.
Does she have a blog?
Has nobody made the "Hot White Cum" joke yet? People just leaving the low hang fruit around.
"Liz was born with fur like any other chimpanzee. But by just a year old, she had lost all of it! While she is somewhat frightening, it is a wonderful opportunity to be able to see a chimp’s musculature."