Forgive me if I fail to panic. You know what? Let me know when they start eating the animals; that'll be a better indicator of how bad it is out there.
Friday, April 24, 2009
11
If they do eat the animals, have this guy prepare them. It's a long read and worth every second, if you haven't read already.
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2006-05-11/news/xtreme-cuisine/
This is only going to drive up the price of Bronx Zoo T-shirts and make it harder for the rest of us to blend in at the various hipster gala events like gallery openings, critical mass, and kickball games.
You don't care now, but when there are fired lions and chimpanzees roaming the streets...actually they would still be in the Bronx, so you still wouldn't care.
I initially read this as "Bronx Fires Animals" and thought you'd dug up some old 1930s racist headline.
ALSO: This reminds me of this for some reason:
"Bennett was known in upper class New York circles to brag about his influence, claiming that he had so much control over New York that he could keep the entire city in their houses for a whole day. Someone finally took him up on the bet and on November 9, 1874 the Herald's headline screamed 'Escaped Animals Roam Streets of Manhattan'."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A2754452
Mmmm... gnuburger.
happiness is a warm gnu.
Trying to pull on our jaed heartstrings with a family of lemurs? Pshaw: We're New Yorkers! That shit doesn't phase us, yo.
It's about time. They were all overpaid.
Fucking zoo-animal union.
During the last Great Depression, the Detroit Zoo butchered all its animals and gave the meat to the poor.
Yes, but have you seen the prices for a box of Lemur Helper these days? That shit doesn't go as far as it used to.