Bloomberg's Matthew Lynn has an ABSOLUTELY INSANE column today expressing sympathy for the pitiful businessmen who are forced to shell out money to the trophy wives they've discarded even in the teeth of this dismal economic climate. Lynn writes with a tongue-in-cheek tone which will probably provide cover to those who are offended by his suggestion that we set up derivates contracts on banker marriages and build in speculative options on divorce, because God forbid a man loses most of his assets and his ex-wife somehow becomes materially more wealthy than he. Cute, right? Well, sure. But then there's this:
You spend your life building a fortune, and at the end you lose most of it, while your ex is living a life of luxury. And if there are individuals who emerge from the turmoil of the past year with even less credit than the money men, it is their wives. At least the bankers had to spend 15 hours a day in an office with a bunch of colleagues who make piranha fish seem friendly. Half of these men could count on a serious cardiac condition before they reached 40. They may not have really earned their bonuses, but at least their lives were miserable.
Their wives didn't have to do anything more taxing than issuing orders to the nanny, booking a luxury chalet for skiing trips in the Alps, and battling with other spouses for places in the most expensive school for their small hordes of children.
But what about all the blowjobs, Matthew? Those ladies have to give a lot of blowjobs. Whatever they get, they've earned it.