This Gap baby coat will choke your infant to death. This crib will strangle it. Now you know what I am getting my pregnant friends for Christmas before these products are yanked off the market.

Our friend Dave Bry has so very many regrets. Some of them are about girls, like this particular pang-worthy bit of remorse. READ MORE

Remember when there was going to be Internet in the air all around us?

I have been walking around the area of NYU Village north of SoHo (Large Italy?) for an hour trying to get some free WiFi and now I have apparently paid 1.5 Euros for some Internet because this is actually Sweden or something. Didn't Clay Shirky or Jeff Jarvis write a book about how the Internet was going to be everywhere and effortless and something? This always-fail prisoner's dilemma of thousands of locked Airport networks giving us cancer while not actually delivering Internet? This is NOT WORKING OUT, PEOPLE.

Suck it, lower 48! Anyway, good news from Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's Twitter, which looks like someone took a cheesy poster from the seventies and vomited a bunch of stars on it. (And I say that as someone who works on a site whose horrible design was absolutely deliberate.) Seriously, it's like an unholy combination of a Charlie's Angels pin-up and "Hang in there, kitty." Yuck.

Hey, look, it's an app for your iPhone that will help you track swine flu! Maybe next they can come up with an app which reveals how absolutely germ-ridden your iPhone is just from everyday use.

Politico: Arlen Specter does not wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom.

Michael Musto dusts off an old John Currin painting of a topless Bea Arthur. Clicking on this link will almost certainly reveal something about your sexuality, although it's hard to say what.

Here's Vice President Biden on "The Today Show" this morning, scaring the hell out of anyone who is actually stupid enough to listen to him. Biden's advice on the swine flu-essentially, panic and avoid public places-was quickly reinterpreted by a spokesperson to suggest that the Vice President was referring to sick people who might further transmit the disease. This wasn't the first Biden gaffe, and it's not going to be the last one. What's next? READ MORE

Gratuitous photogallery of the day: In honor of actress Kelly McGillis's revelation that she digs chicks, website Irish Central has put together a collection of "celebrities [who] have Irish roots, and are openly – or strongly suggested to be – LGBT." I don't want to spoil too much of it for you, but one of them's Oscar Wilde. I know, right?

Dear Answer Person,

A legitimately terrible thing happened in my life. Parts of my life get recorded online. How should the terrible thing affect those parts of my life?

Yours,

Emoticons Are Inadequate READ MORE

The out of control insane Republican Party has a new ad! It asks if the first 100 days of the Obama administration have led you to believe that the Pentagon is going to be blown up and how we will live without Guantanamo and if foreign people are going to burn the American flag and EAT YOUR BABIES. Oh and also how we will get by without torturing people. WHICH IS INSANE. The Republican party is clearly trying to rebrand itself as the party of torture, an identity which they are welcome to!

You know, I lean left, but I consider myself a fairly rational person who does a decent job of not being blinded by his biases in the face of overwhelming evidence which contradicts my own political beliefs. So I saw this thing on Reason-a publication I enjoy even though there's a lot of it with which I disagree-about how the "tea parties" were a lot more successful than those on the left were prepared to give credit for. And I thought to myself, okay, maybe I was wrong, I should read it and see what they have to say. READ MORE

In this week's very challenging crossword puzzle, the answers are lifted from the most oft-submitted titles of poems to an award-winning American publication. Print and enjoy! READ MORE

One of the great Australian insults concerns the English, who, it is said, "hide their money under the soap." (It works on two levels!) If the Daily Mail is to be believed-always an iffy proposition-they might just as conveniently stash it under the laundry detergent: It seems that Englishwomen only wash their bras every two months or so, which is a particularly startling figure when you consider how often the filthy island dwellers work themselves into a state of sweat-soaked dishevelment by committing knife crimes. Given her avant-garde taste in lingerie, we can only hope that this is one limey affectation Madonna chose not to adopt during her time across the pond. Because, you know, ewww.